Art By: Art Thibert
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: July 9, 2014
I Like 'Em Big.......... Barda Big
For our quick weekly recap, last issue we saw that Cadmus Island is a glorified prison for Earth 2 super humans, and that the team Grifter was recruited for want him to use his ability to spot deception in these captives. Red Robin's girlfriend Madison went to ask her father some questions at his prison in Metropolis, but her visit was cut short when Rampage showed up to break out some inmate named Ethan Boyer, also helmeted Superman wrecked up the place and let the two villains escape. Back at Terrifitech we saw that Mister Terrific has a working Brother Eye overseeing his experiments, and finally in deep space Ray Palmer cut off the arm of the dead Hawkman to attach it to Frankenstein. Only problem with that is Hawkman wasn't dead, and after the two dimensional jump scare we realize that he's not a zombie, and we now have a witness to what massacred Stormwatch. Alright boys and girls let's jump five years into the future and see what the world of tomorrow has in store for us.
Explain It!:
Our story begins with Helmeted Superman breaking shit, of course. He's on the hunt for the escaped inmate from last issue, Ethan Boyer. This hunt leads him to one of Ethan's old haunts where it seems he used to do genetic experiments. But it's a waste of time as we find out from Lois Lane who just walks in out of no where, and we get our first clue that this Superman isn't the one we once knew. Lois tells him that Ethan Boyer abandoned this lab a long time ago, and that it was Superman that told her that. Superman being there just doesn't make sense to Lois, and even though he plays it off as just double checking we're left wondering who this Helmeted Superman really is. Right now most people's money is on Earth 2's Val-Zod, but I'll guess we'll have to wait and see. Also Helmeted Superman is a jerk off, the empty building that he smashed tons of holes in is full of toxic waste, and you know that can't be good for the neighborhood. Jerk off Helmeted Superman.
Now we're going to head back to the "Wounded Duck" where the three villains Key, Plastique, and Coil are planning on how to get into Terrifitech to steal Mister Terrific's new brain twitter device known as the Usphere. But they're not the only ones who want into Terrifitech, no Terry McGinnis just comes over and joins the conversation saying he has the place mapped out and wants to join the team. After he demonstrates the building plans on a hologram map emitting from his hand, they know who he is, but I guess secret identities don't matter when you're from thirty five years in the future. Key grabs a hold of Terry and tries to prove a point, but the point that is always made in these situations is you don't fuck with Batman. Terry performs a move that paralyzes Key, and gets the attention from the once Teen Titan Red Robin, now known as Cal Corcoran bartender extraordinaire. Cal tells Terry that he knows the man that made that variation of the Tonga Death Strike non lethal, and asks if he ever mentioned him. Terry obviously shocked at who he's talking to, takes his meeting of the minds elsewhere. Yeah that certainly raddled Batman Beyond, now I want to see how Red Robin gets involved.
After Terry and the baddies leave, Red Robin goes upstairs to find his girlfriend Madison rummaging through his things because she obviously isn't convinced that her boyfriend isn't the presumed dead Red Robin,. That is until he gives her something shiny as a gift. Yes ladies it seems that if you ever suspect your boyfriend of anything, all it takes to change your mind is jewelry. I predict a lot of angry message board posts after this.
Out in deep space Hawkman is regrowing his arm, and Amethyst and him have words that lead to him having a crush on the once ruler of Gem World, and then back on Cadmus Island Grifter gets his ass kicked by an invisible OMAC that Fifty Sue has never seen before. Once Grifter is nursed back to health she plans on the two going on a hunt for the elusive MAC of the O. You know it's going to be the New 52's original OMAC Kevin Kho, or at least I'd like to think so.
In the end we travel to Vancouver where we see a very large woman named Jane Kirby dishing out soup at a homeless shelter. Seems harmless enough, but one of the people in the shelter keeps eyeballing this large lady. On her way home we see that the eyeballer is the Green Arrow's half sister Emiko, and she doesn't want the obvious name drop of Jane Kirby, she wants who she used to be, Barda. Oh yeah it looks like we'll have some New God action in the upcoming weeks, but it's odd I could of sworn that one of Earth 2 inmates on Cadmus Island was Big Barda, but I guess that shows you what I know. See you next week as we continue our time traveling adventures to Five Years From Now.
Bits and Pieces:
All the questions will drive you crazy if you're a constant reader of this weekly series, but this week was able to dish out a little more without you caring. It's dropping subtle hints here and there, you know just giving us enough so we stop bitching, and with that giving us another week of great storytelling. With the exception of the writers pretty much saying that women don't care about things if you give them jewelry, this was a fine issue, with fine art by Art Thibert. I love journeying to Five Years From Now and so far it's been a great event, with no real disappointments. Check it out.
8.7/10
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