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Written By: Brian Azzarello, Jeff Lemire, Dan Jurgens, Keith Giffen Art By: Stephen Thompson, Hi-Fi Cover Price: $2.99 Release Date: January 28, 2015
Corn Kernel Monsters..........
*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
Welcome back to the land of Five Years From Now and man things better start happening in the future soon. Last issue we had a bunch of things that seemed like they wanted to do things but really, we were left with nothing. Batman Beyond, Batman, Tim Drake and Plastique finally went up against the Batman/Joker Brother Eye monster from the future but right when it was about to get good, we moved on to Fifty Sue, Lana Lang and Grifter sitting in the desert with King Faraday's vault of DNA and them wondering what to do with it.......... Yup, just wondering. Then we moved on to Firestorm cutting a deal with Dr. Polaris. If he helps her separate from Jason Rusch, she'll give him the JLA's teleportation technology. I don't think she can do that.......... You know, since she's not in the JLA and all but apparently Superman and Stormguard just went with it........ I don't know. In the end, Amethyst took Frankenstein back to Castle Frankenstein, where he was born to see if she could save him and we had the shocking...... that's right shocking discovery that Victor Frankenstein is still alive and has been occupying his time with Island of Dr. Moreau like monsters. Let's see if this issue starts doing anything or if it's just another waste of time......... Man, that last part was harsh.
Our story begins with Firestorm explaining to Superman who she is and who Dr. Polaris is and why she needs him and his motivations for wanting the teleportation technology........ His wife died because there wasn't any, in case you forgot. So yeah, this whole section is about catching people up with who the characters are and me being frustrated that Superman is just letting her have her way and inviting a super villain onto the JLA satellite. Hell, it looks like Stormguard's pissed too because he's not even in this issue. All I'm saying is, you'd think that Superman before going along with this would at least call the rest of the JLA and see what they thought about it, but no.
Next we jump to King Faraday and his group trying to figure out what to do next and wonder when Fifty Sue is going to strike next, but it seems all she plans on doing is yanking Grifter's tech guru Justin away from them and then having some pizza at her favorite restaurant............ and that's about it. I think I liked it better when Fifty Sue was scaring the hell out of me instead of all this boring nonsense we've gotten lately. Oh well, that's the Fifty Sue section everyone!
Over in Smallville, Constantine and Clark discuss why Clark quit being Superman but they're so cryptic about it that all we find out is that Batman conned Superman to do something during the Earth 2 war and out of nowhere the cornfields around them come alive and tiny corn kernel monsters start attacking our heroes............. That's right, corn kernel monsters. During the scuffle, Constantine's Brainiac controlled friend: Midge, gets impaled by a cornstalk but has a chance at redemption before she dies and tells Clark and Constantine that Brainiac is coming and that he intends on collecting Manhattan. Don't worry about the monsters though, before Clark went and did his whole up, up and away shtick to get to Manhattan, he heat visioned them all to popcorn. Well, they didn't actually become popcorn but after seeing corn kernel monsters I think it would have been fitting to continue the silliness.
In the end, we head over to Castle Frankenstein where the good doctor agrees to help Frankenstein put his mind into a new body, but in return he wants to be able to tweak his brain so that he's forever a loyal soldier and son to him............. Yeah, that was a deal breaker and when Frankenstein refused, Amethyst took it upon herself to remove Victor Frankenstein's head from his shoulders. I guess there was no sense in letting that monster live and we leave this section of the story with Frankenstein accepting his death and wanting to write about his life story.......... or un-life story.
Before we completely leave this issue, we book end our journey with a trip back to the JLA headquarters, where we see that Brainiac is on his way. The End Is Nigh!
That's it for this issue of Futures End and even with the boring Fifty Sue/King Faraday stuff, this issue still seems to come off as so-so. I know that we've been here before, where the book fools us into believing that shit is finally going to do down, but with Brainiac making his arrival, I think I have to believe it this time. I really think that's where all my excitement comes from because the stuff with Firestorm, Superman and Dr. Polaris came off strange and we had Constantine and Clark Kent fighting corn kernel monsters............ So yeah, the bits where Brainiac was coming and Frankenstein and Amethyst's adventure were the main draw here. I wish I could say something positive about the art that could boost my feelings towards this book but it wasn't anything that really pulled you in and I found myself just thinking about how funny the characters looked......... So yeah, nothing really positive there. See you next week where hopefully Brainiac comes and kicks this series in the ass and gets it going again. See you then.
Bits and Pieces:
This is certainly one of the better issues as of late and it's only because of the cliffhanger ending that let's us know that things are actually coming and we're not wasting our time reading this series. Well, that and Frankenstein and Amethyst's part was pretty bad ass. The majority of the book will leave you shaking your head or simply being bored............ but things are about to happen........ Oh, things better happen!