First Aired: October 11, 2016
Caught up? Good. Let's get into tonight's proceedings.
HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE FUCKING RULED!!!!!!
Seriously, this was an excellent episode. It was the first time since the end of season one that I felt so much joy watching an episode of The Flash.
We pick up right where we left off, Barry sitting there looking like an asshole because he fucked up Joe and Iris' relationship with all his timeline tampering. Barry breaks the fuck out, I assumed to see Iris and find out what's what, but instead winds up in Star City to get Felicity's point of view. Here is a little protip for the readers at home, Felicity can solve any and all problems because she rules.
Felicity gives Barry some advice telling him to let everyone know what's what so they can all move on. Of course he chooses to ignore ignore the sage wisdom of the nerd goddess until the end of the episode, because tension!!!!!! We also find out that his time tampering turned Diggle's infant daughter into his toddler son. Shit is cray!!!
Back at Star Labs the tension is deep. Turns out Cisco is hella heated at Barry because he won't go back in time to save his asshole brother. Cisco mopes around for most of the episode acting like an asshole mourning this shitty character that we have no real connection to because he was an arrogant prick. Joe and Iris are still at odds and Iris won't tell Barry why, because if he was a good boyfriend he would know why. Fucking Barry. Caitlyn is the biggest shocker of all, she is finally being well-written. I think we should take credit for making her shitty writing a constant in our recaps...I don't even care if Greg Berlanti and the gang read this shit at all, I'm still taking the credit. MAKE THE FLASH GREAT AGAIN!!!
Central City is all sorts of fucked up now. Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter is working in Barry's lab and it looks like Draco and Barry are the new Draco and Harry, because these two kitties do not get along...ME FUCKING OW!!!!!!!
Human husks have been popping up all over Central City, which is fucking gross. Turns out some super awesome new bad guy named Alchemy (would be cooler if it was The Alchemist because his beats bang hard!). Alchemy is taking humans in this reality, who were meta-humans in the Flashpoint reality and giving them back their powers. In the process they seem to be shedding their flesh. This week's husk is that asshole Rival from last week, he still totally sucks, he is like that dick The Miz from The Real World and the WWE but less entertaining or threatening.
At some point Cisco being a sad fuck wears Barry down and he starts going back in time to create another reality where that dick Dante is still alive, luckily middle age plumber mascot looking Flash from earth three snatches Barry out of the time stream, brings him to some coffee shop in the 90s and learns Barry about his meddling ways. Really eye opening stuff for Barry, I guess because homeboy looks like his dad Barry is finally listening.
Barry goes back, hips the crew to whats popping off and why everything seems fucked up. Iris and Joe make amends, Caitlyn is still being dope, and Cisco runs off. Barry gives chase, lets Cisco know that he "can't do nothing for him man" and Cisco gets sadder.
Barry goes off to fight Rival and he gets double teamed by Rival and Alchemy only to be saved by Cisco rocking his Vibe skills. Back at the lab all is well, everyone is kind of happy. Barry is like "yo Cisco let's team up" and Cisco is all "nah, I'm not ready for that shit". Barry is like "word?" and Cisco is like, "but one day we can totes link bruh".
Rival is in Iron Heights and Alchemy (who looks like Afrika Bambaataa if Afrika Bambaataa was a sith lord) comes through and either kills him or gives him super powers, who the fuck knows. Alchemy is an awesome villain, hopefully when he is revealed he will still be awesome, unlike Zoom. My money is on Draco being Alchemy because he is the biggest new star.
Also, it seems in this reality Caitlyn has the Killer Frost skill set popping off. Should be interesting.
Sorry, I can't give it a perfect score because I'm like one of those asshole professors who refuses to give perfect scores because it sets a precedent or some shit.