Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Superwoman #6 Review




Make This Woman Shut Up
Written by: Phil Jimenez
Art by: Matt Santorelli
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: January 11, 2017


Rebirth has been a hit or miss with me on the quality of the books, whether it's the story, the art, or the non-funness of it. Superwoman, however, isn’t a miss. It’s an absolute failure. I’m surprised this title is still being published and hasn’t been canceled yet. I could write all day about how this comic is bad, unnecessary and just plain bad. But I’ll have you read this review instead. Did I mention it was bad? This is “Who Killed Superwoman? Part 6: Come Dancing”





Explain it:
We start with Lex, he’s trapped in a Hypercube, trying to make contact to the outside world but just screaming help. He then see’s the head of Kryptoniteman, that’s his name so don’t wear it out. He’s really fucking annoying. Speaking of annoying, there’s so much god damn recapping that it’s blowing my mind! Every issue is so recap heavy and I’m getting tired of it. We even get a recap for Luthor’s assistant, Mercy. That’s great! But where the hell is Kryptoniteman’s recap? How is a new reader, like me, supposed to know who this guy is without looking him up? I get that we live in a world with Google, but there’s a real problem with your comic when a reader is so lost on your story and characters that they have to search for it.




Anyway, Mercy warns of a Metamorph, presumably one that Lana is fighting. Last issue we got a cliffhanger that one of the Bizzaro Women is holding Lana’s unconscious body and my prediction was that we would get to see the fight that led up to that. Of course, here it is and they fight. Lana describes her powers as a solar battery that never runs out. If it doesn’t run out, how the hell is it killing her?! She just tells us it’s killing her but doesn’t give an explanation as to why. Most likely because it’s bullshit and building fake tension.


So the Bizzaro Woman she’s fighting actually kills the Superwoman clone, what a shocker. Lana falls unconscious and we have another ghost Lois tell her to snap out of it. But the Bizzaro Woman can see her, whaaaaa?! Now, we get to where we left off last issue, Bizzaro Woman holding Superwoman at Steelworks. They start to talk to her to find answers as to what she knows about Ultrawoman and that Lena lost control of that clone. While this is going on, Lois is still here! Lana keeps calling her Casper but why the hell isn’t she asking HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE. So, was she alive the entire time? Was she always there the whole time??



The next page is just full of god damn exposition, filled with word bubbles and Lana’s fucking narration. Why does she have to narrate so much? She’s really not saying anything important. Throughout this page, we get Lena’s plan and it’s nothing shocking. Blah blah blah, Lana finds Lex, blah blah blah, flashbacks, flashbacks, flashbacks, blah blah blah Lana get’s Lex out, cliffhanger page and it’s nothing crazy but I won’t spoil it. This last half of the issue is such a fucking chore to get through. This comic has given up on providing anything worth a damn, so I gave up writing this review right around here.




Bits and Pieces:

Way too much happens in this issue but nothing happens at the same time. Lots of talking, lots of narration, lots of unnecessary fluff that half way though, I lost interest. This issue was so hard to get through and toward the end, none of this even matters and I don’t care about what happens. All we needed to know is everyone now has to get together to stop Lena. But didn’t we already know that?

3/10

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2 comments:

  1. Uh the "lost control" clone is the Earth 3 Superwoman right. That's what I took from it or perhaps the first clone of her not sure. Is this book in continuity with Action Comics and Superman books? If so it doesn't make any sense. Regardless Lex is a big jerk to his sister and deserves what he's getting.

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  2. She's a modified B-Zero clone like Bizarro of Superwoman from Earth-3 and yes, this is in continuity with Action Comics and Superman.

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