Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye #7 Review and **SPOILERS**
Written By: Jon Rivera
Story By: Gerard Way & Jon Rivera
Cover & Interior Art By: Michael Avon Oeming
Cover & Interior Colors By: Nick Filardi
Letters By: Clem Robins
Back-up Words By: Mark Russell
Back-up Art By: Benjamin Dewey
Cover Price: $3.99
On Sale Date: April 19, 2017
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
Man, have I been excited for this issue! The way the last one ended was such a cliffhanger, nothing like I expected from the “traditional” conclusion to a story arc. But I need to relinquish my own conditioning if I ever hope comics publishers will stop Writing for the Trades! So who knows what this issue will bring…oh, I can’t wait another minute! Let’s head right into my review of Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye #7!
A few issues back, Cave prepared to use a special cellular phone, imprinted with the Man of Steel “S” logo, that he claimed was given to him by Superman. Turns out the number was disconnected, but it still begged the question: what about that time Cave Carson met Superman? Well, we get to find out here, in the Good Old Days, when Cave traversed underground caverns with his team of Bulldozer Smith and his pet lemur, Lena, Johnny Blake, Christine Madison, and a Mighty Mole stolen from Borsten & Sons—the mining company we know today as EBX. During one of these subterranean cruises, Lois Lane contacts team Carson to ask their aid on behalf of Superman, currently fighting giant, pink, crystalline monster with a sliver of Kyrptonite in its head! After the situation has been assessed, Bulldozer sends Lena scampering up to monster to retrieve the Kryptonite shard. Once Superman gets his strength back, he flies faster and faster around this huge cavern, hitting stalactites as he goes, then eventually creates a sonic AKA-THOOM that shatters the monster and…a fallen stalactite pierces Johnny Blake in the chest??
He’s slammed bloodily up against the Mighty Mole, and Christine seems eerily glad about it. Her face caked with Johnny’s blood, she takes this opportunity of having become recently single to plant a smooch on ol’ Cave—then as he pulls away she’s old lady with a tube leading from her nose to her arm? Things get really trippy, and about now we realize that we’re on some journey through Cave’s guilty mind, not his vibrant memories at all. He’s taunted by his former teammates, and even a scary-faced Superman himself, and then by the brain slug that was Papa Borstein before the Whisperer was cracked open like a Maryland crab. After Cave beats himself up for having let so many people down over the years, actual Superman appears and tears Cave from the digestive tract of the Borstein brain slug! And allow me to tell you, I really like the way Oeming rendered him here, very Fleischer Studios-inspired if you ask me (though Superman is technically wearing the modern costume—just a very classic take on it.)
Superman spirits Cave away and gives him a good talking to; tells Cave to own his failures and gain strength from them. Then, Supes spits an awesome line: “Superman isn’t my name, Cave. It’s my challenge.” Boom. He puts his boots on one foot at a time like the rest of us. Which is better than that stupid Kryptonian armor crap he had in the New 52, but now we’re getting off track. Superman cures Cave of his fear, then tosses Cave back into the gaping mouth-vagina of Borstein, raring to tear him apart…and then he wakes up. He’s in a disheveled, blood spattered hospital, being cared for by one of the renegade members of the EBX team tasked with finding Cave so many issues ago. They’re all there: the other lady, Wild Dog, and his daughter Chloe who informs him that he’s been unconscious and traveling across the country—for a week! Dun dun dunnn! Very Twilight Zone!
Also, the Borstein brain slug has destroyed Cave Carson’s city and seems to have everyone in his thrall. But can you imagine? He was under for a whole week! I really loved the twists and turns in this book. I was fully prepared for a one-off flashback story, but nope it turns out to be a bleak examination of Cave Carson’s soul and a continuation from where we left off last issue. Really well done, and well-paced with even parts of gross, pulsating monster entrails and kind advice from Superman. In the back-up, there’s the first installment of Mark Russell and Benjamin Dewey’s Wonderful World of Rocks! This time, it looks like an excerpt from an issue of ROCK ON! magazine wherein a Professor Marc Bartow recalls his weird eulogy for a colleague. It’s pretty funny, but I’ll bet not many people bother to read it. Like those all-text stories comic books used to have to maintain a World War II postage rate. That’s okay, though. The straight comic story was more than good enough.
Bits and Pieces:
This story pulls a few switcheroos on the reader, which will be most welcome to fans of the series and the psychedellically-inclined. I suppose it's not giving anything away to say that Superman appears in this issue, except to say that he doesn't. Or does he? You gotta read it, I don't know what else to tell you! If you don't like this series, drink a bottle of Robitussin DM and try again.