Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Legends of Tomorrow: Daddy Darhkest - Review and **SPOILERS**


Directed By: Kevin Mock

Written By: Grainne Godfree and James Eagan

First Aired: February 12, 2018

Prior to the mid-season break a gang of shit happened. 
  1. The crew had to break out of Rip Hunter’s new time bureau
  2. Rip Hunter has become a corporate total dick
  3. They picked up Zari, a new face from the future who has some boring powers I can't be bothered to look up, thanks to a totem similar to Amaya’s
  4. We found out that there is also a future villain with water totem that is Zari's mortal enemy as well as Amaya’s granddaughter (time travel muthafucker)
  5. Damien Darkh and his daughter Nora has been pulling the strings behind the scenes, and they might be serving a demon named Mallus who's name is eerily similar to the demon Moloch from the Sleepy Hollow TV series...Fun fact he is voiced by Sleepy Hollow under-villain John Noble
  6. They fucked up a bunch of Nazi’s while the centrists and racists of the arrowverse cried about free speech
  7. The Earth Two version of Snart decides to tag along with the LOT crew. This Snart is a kinder version of the Snart we all know and love.  He is less begrudging hero that Earth and more the hashtagtavist touchy feely. Though he maybe still be a selfish prick as he did ditch his husband and the resistance on the Nazi controlled Earth 2 to pal around time with the Legends.  Kind of a dick move IMHO
  8. Martin Stein aka the geriatric half of Firestorm was killed off because he landed a sweet gig in Hello Dolly or some other Broadway bullshit that old doctors take their wives and/or mistresses to see
  9. Jax decides to break out because he needs to find himself or some shit.  This means we are officially down two Legends and one super power. It also means that we will get a rotating cast of heroes (see John Constantine in this episode) to fill the Firestorm sized void until they figure it out. Word on the street is that Wally West is about to become a series regular giving him the unique opportunity of ruining two shows I once loved
  10. Sarah and Ava from the time bureau seem to have a spark. I for one am shipping these two. They deserve to be happy
  11. John Constantine showed up because some demon he was fighting mentioned Sarah’s name
I think we are caught up. If you want to read my recap of the last episode you can find it here.

Explain It:


This week’s episode focused on three team ups. Sarah, Constantine, and Snart who spend most of their time in the past, we will call team awesome. Team two. Let’s call them comic relief team is Mick, Nate and Amaya back on the Wave Rider The last team is Zari and Ray in modern day and that is all we will say about them because just like their characters, their story line fucking sucks.

Team Awesome:

Constantine is trying to fight Mallus who has possessed the most goth teenager in all of the Arrowverse. To make matters worse Goth Teen (GT) is trapped in a mental health facility run by a Nurse Ratchet authoritarian asshole who is making his job tougher than it needs to be so Constantine solicits the help of Sarah and Snart. While trying to exorcise Mallus they are sent back to 1969 or some shit, conveniently they are in the same mental health facility making weird modern day behavior, sneaking around and claims of being from the future seem suspect AF. 

Nurse Ratchet is still running the joint only now she is a hot ginger but not traditional hot more the ‘pose topless in Low Rider magazine’ hot. Mallus is chasing Sarah throughout the hospital because she has some sort of connection with the demon because of course she does. Mallus is all in her mind and shit, he has mind control on Sarah like he was Smokey and she was Deebo. Constantine suggests they find something to clear her mind so Mallus can’t track him anymore. The line works and they smash. I wish I had John Constantine as a wing man when I was single, though he is way more ruggedly handsome than I am, so I guess I would be his wingman maybe? In reality he would probably just cuck me, steal my girlfriend and force me to watch. 

Snart gets got by Ratchet who is fixing to lobotomize his ass when Sarah and Constantine save the day. They decide to use Sarah’s connection to Mallus so they can use the powers that sent them to the 60s to send them home. It works.

Team Comic Relief:

Amaya and Nate capture Amaya's granddaughter Kuasa aka the water wielder and we learn that she dealt with unbearable horrors before Darhk taught her about her powers. She holds this against Amaya for not traveling through time to save her and her village from said horrors. I am kind of on Kuasa's side here. Amaya is on some bullshit. 

Amaya manages to crack Kuasa's gruff exterior by doing that thing with her eyes where she looks like she really cares about you, and totally wants to snuggle.  In this case it works, it is just enough to get Kuasa to trust her even if it is a shaky trust at best. Right before Kuasa escapes she tells Amaya not to disappoint her again. 

Meanwhile Mick is just trying to watch the fucking playoffs and everyone is interrupting him, I have to say it is pretty cool to have a story line featured in one of your favorite shows that is ripped right from your personal life. I can't wait for the episode where Mick pretends he has to poop just so he can get a moment of peace and quiet in the Wave Rider bathroom.

Team Fucking Sucks:

Ok, I know, I said I wasn’t going to bring them up, but they did have a major moment that I am sure will have repercussions down the line and I would be remiss if I didn't mention it. It turns out that GT is actually Damien Darhk’s daughter Nora and of course they still decided that it would be a good idea to break her out of the institution (because they are fucking idiots), and of course Darhk showed up, and of course he used his powers to stop these jackasses from helping Nora and of course he took Nora back to Nurse Ratchet at the institution. The only reason I am only reporting this is because feel like this is lazy foreshadowing.  It seems pretty clear to me that Nora will turn on Darhk some point later in the season to save Zari and Ray much to the disappointment of everyone watching. 

The episode ends with Constantine and Snart breaking the fuck out.

6.5/10
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