Thursday, October 31, 2013

Top 5 "Superheroes That Could Double For Horror Icons"

Happy Halloween

So Halloween is here, and I'm given an opportunity to make a new Top 5 list with a holiday theme.  Alright Halloween.  So did you ever wonder which of your favorite superheroes could possibly be a stand in for a horror icon?  Well me neither, but we're going to see a what Weird Science has to say on the subject.  Now this Top 5 list is based on either look, powers, or personality.  So have a seat, eat some candy, and picture your favorite heroes in the roles of a horror icon.

#5. Sinestro Wants To Suck Your Blood?

Look at that widows peak on Sinestro.  You add a cape, and get rid of that John Waters mustache, and BAM, you have the master of the undead; Count Dracula.  Maybe Sinestro can't turn into a bat, but I do know that one of his constructs could make a better bat, than the ones we always see hanging from strings.  Don't let Sinestro bite your neck.  For one thing it will leave a unsightly hickey, and two, you could probably do better.  Have some self confidence. 

#4. I Dare You To Drop Blood On Her, I Double Dog Dare You.

So the Teen Titans are at Prom, and the awkward girl has been chosen as Prom Queen.  Now Kid Flash is John Travolta, and Solstice is Robocop's partner.  The bucket of blood is ready.  Raven and William Kat walk onto the stage, and right when they are about to be crowned King and Queen, the bucket falls.  But Raven catches it in air, and instantly kills Kid Flash, and Solstice.  The crowd engulfs in flames anyway because no one ruins Raven's time with William Kat!  The school burns and no one survives.  All for the glory of Trigon.  HA HA HA HA!  Now that's a movie I want to see.

#3. Way Less Lame, With The Superhero

Hey remember that movie Lawn mower Man?  Don't feel bad you're not alone.  This 1992 movie was pretty much the story of Flowers for Algernon, slapped with a title from a Stephen King short story.  But anyway Jobe was a little dim in the head, and became a genius when thrown into a VR world.  Remember how everything was VR in the early 90's?  Anyway once a genius the Lawnmower man could take over all things connected to the internet.  So image Cyborg in this role.  No contest.  Cyborg if turned villain, would immediately screw everything up, and nothing could stop him.  Kinda like we're seeing in Forever Evil with Grid.  Step back Lawnmower Man, Vic Stone is here for Halloween.

#2. Boyyyyyyyyy! That's Terrific

 Sadly I don't know if you'll know this horror icon either.  But he's the Tall Man from one of my favorite horror series; Phantasm.  The Tall Man is a evil undertaker from another dimension, who digs up dead bodies, crunches the bodies down into dwarfs, and takes their brains out and puts them into killer spheres.  Yeah....  It's more fun than it sounds.  Anyway, we take Mister Terrific's T spheres and add a little modification, throw him into a ratty suit, and give him a fucked up eye. and there you have it.  A Terrific Tall Man.  Gonna add a killer sphere here, for those that aren't in the know, and maybe for those of you who don't want to be.

#1. Leave Me Alone, This Was The Most Obvious One!

 Alright you might say this is a cop out, but come on.  Who else could double so brilliantly for Frankenstein?  No one that's the answer.  So in the classic film Frankenstein, a little girl and Frank were sitting by a lake throwing flower peddles into the water.  When all the peddles were gone Frankenstein threw the little girl into the water, where she drowned.  Now in our version when the peddles are all gone Frankenstein takes out his sword, and impales the little girl, and rambles on "My Lady this, and My Lady that."  Well maybe we shouldn't tamper with a classic.  Wait for the sequel where the Bride has four arms and just blasts Frankenstein with her four pistols.

Well Happy Halloween, hopefully we'll have another Top 5 list before I'm forced to do one when a holiday comes around.  Probably be something awful about Turkeys.  Enjoy your night, have fun at your parties, and make sure to check your candy.  Oh and if you happen to be the sister of a serial killer, you should probably just stay in tonight.  Happy Halloween.

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