Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Batman: Secret Files #2 Review

Some Things Should Remain Secret

Writer: Andy Kubert, Tim Seeley, Steve Orlando, Mairghread Scott, Collin Kelly, Jackson Lanzing
Artist: Eduardo Risso, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Carlos D, and Amancay Nahuelpan
Cover Price: $4.99
Release Date: July 31, 2019

I was not as big a fan of the first Secret Files issue as some, but the idea that this one gives us "All you need to know about the Summer's Biggest Story" seems very promising.  I mean, they are talking about the City of Bane and not Event Leviathan, Year of the Villain or something else I'm missing, right?  Ok, let's see what this is all about...

The first story is by Andy Kubert and Amancay Nahuelpan and features the Joker trying to get Batman out of the cape and cowl.  It's not as sexy as it sounds and really, there isn't much to it besides some slap stick gags and a Honeymooners Reference at the end.  Did it tie into City of Bane?  Not one damn bit!

The next "Secret File" involves Batman interrupting the cult of Psycho Pirate.  It's by Lanzing and Kelly and it doesn't really do much then tell a very quick story of Batman beating the Medusa Mask with his own misery, a couple punches and a good attitude.  It ends with Batman helping a little girl and taking a tied up Psycho Pirate away.   Did it tie into City of Bane?  Not one damn bit!

Next up we have a Riddler story by Mairghread Scott and it's okay.  You get a riddle that you can kind of play along with and I liked the narration of Nygma and the Arkham doctor over-top seeing Batman solving the cast as it went.  With more space, I think this could have been a lot better, but Scott at least uses the real estate she's given to tell a quick story.  Other than that, did it tie into City of Bane?  Not one damn bit!

Steve Orlando is up next and he gives readers a Hugo Strange story that is a bit Saw and I actually liked it.  It actually uses the limited page count to present a gory mystery with some fast a smart dialogue.  This one really impressed me, but did it tie into City of Bane?  Not one damn bit!

The last story is a Tim Seeley joint featuring Bane.  Why is a young Bane dressed?  I thought Tom King schooled everyone about Bane being naked all his life in Santa Prisca?  Oh well, Bane has clothing on throughout, but he also has a score to settle with a reporter who found out a little too much.  This guy interviewed Bane as a boy and now we see him track him down and leave him dead for Batman.  It has Bane in it, but did it tie into City of Bane?  Not one damn bit!

This is a bunch of stories thrown together.  They aren't memorable and some feel like they are nothing at all really.  The thing, though, is DC is making this out to be a big tie-in to the City of Bane story.  It is not and they should be ashamed at even suggesting that!

Bits and Pieces:

I guess these files are secret because most really aren't worth telling.  They don't tie into the City of Bane like the cover alludes to and they aren't strong enough to stand on their own.  There really isn't much reason for this collection to exist and I suggest avoiding it as if it didn't!


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