Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Telos #6 Review and *SPOILERS*

What Is and What Should Never Be

Written By: Jeff King
Art By: Igor Vitorino, Jason Paz, Marc Deering, Peter Steigerwald, Travis Lanham
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: March 9, 2016

*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*

Here we are with the final issue of Telos and I wish I could tell you it was a hell of a ride or something cliche like that, but overall it's been pretty lackluster.  The entire series did nothing for us except tell us that the title character was Arak: Son of Thunder before Brainiac went and stole his humanity away from him....... not to mention his family........ but that name means nothing to me so personally I got nothing here.  I hate saying all of this because Jeff King could possibly be the nicest dude in the world and if not the nicest, he's definitely in the running......... I just don't like this series.  I know saying that blows my shot at Jeff and me vacationing in Delaware....... for some reason, but I have to keep it real and hope for the best as we go into this final chapter of Telos.  Let's jump into this issue and see if Parallax can add some excitement and if this ties perfectly into where we left this Zero Hour character when he ran for the hills in Green Lantern.  Let's check it out.

Explain It!:

Our issue begins where we left off last month, with Parallax claiming Telos' power shard for his own, but where I thought he needed the energy of the shard to actually recreate his Coast City, he actually already has that power on lock down, but needs the shard to defeat Mongul and Cyborg Superman.  It's strange because instead of simply recreating his lost city, Parallax actually creates a dimension outside of time so that he can bring Coast City back to life right before it was destroyed...........which is weird as shit to me because Parallax is all about bringing back the city so that he can take Hal Jordan's place and become the city's protector as well as Carol Ferris' snuggle buddy, but you'd think with his kind of power that he'd simply recreate it so that there wasn't a chance that Carol would reject his jerk off face, not to mention a place where he wouldn't have to fight off Mongul and Cyborg Superman.............. because apparently unbeknownst to Telos, our title character and Parallax have actually gone through this Groundhog Day scenario many a times because they keep losing Coast City to those two villainous maniacs.  That just seems like bad planning to me.

Not only is all of that a strange concept for a story that made me read it a bunch of times so that I could kind of wrap my head around it, but apparently the only thing stopping Telos from killing Parallax for his trespasses against his chest jewelry is the fact that if he does, this singularity that Parallax has created will collapse and they'll be sent back to the real world where Telos' friends from the first bunch of issues are about to die from Brainiac's onslaught......... which Telos doesn't want to see happen so he lets this Zero Hour villain live............. even though that means that in the real world Techne, Captain Comet, Stealth and K-Rot are actually dying........ what the hell?  So after a bunch of replays, Parallax and Telos finally beat Cyborg Superman and Mongul, but the people aren't all about praising Parallax as their new hero because apparently Telos has turned them against him......... somehow........ and in a fit of rage, Parallax uses his power to kill everyone in Coast City......... yup.

In the end, Telos finally goes up against Parallax and because of the scuffle, Parallax loses his hold over time and everything is destroyed............ even though it looked like that had already happened.  As our issues closes, Parallax tells Telos to suck it because his shard only has enough juice left for one of them.......... which is a strange comment and Parallax I guess goes to use it against Hal Jordan, while leaving Telos to be a castaway in space........... The End.

That's it for this series of Telos and there wasn't an ending here at all.  This entire series seemed to be all about Telos searching for his family and what I learned from this series is that Telos is a gigantic failure.  Not only did he screw up Brainiac's plans for Convergence, but he couldn't even find his family when he realized that's a thing he should be about and in the end he was left stranded in space...... probably crying a bit....... that last bit is understandable though because it's dark in space and the dark can get pretty scary.  The only thing that seemed to be interesting with this whole shebang was the inclusion of Parallax, but since it was so convoluted I left this issue just scratching my head, dreading the fact that I was going to have to read it again to try and get a grasp on what the hell went down.  It's just a unsatisfying end to an unsatisfying series and at this point I kind of hope that we never see Telos again and that he just spends the rest of his days stranded in space, thinking about what he's done.  One big positive though to this issue and really to the whole series is that the art in this title was great, especially it seems in this issue, but to be fair I don't quite remember exactly how the others looked, just that I actually enjoyed most everything that I saw.  Everything in the art though from the pencils, inks and colors were fantastic.

Bits and Pieces:

Telos comes to a very lackluster end with this issue and I was left confused as to what actually went down until I read it a couple of times.......... but if a gun was put to my head I still don't know if I could properly explain everything that went down here.  There just wasn't anything worthwhile to this issue and we even ended........ with a non-ending that just leaves you really unsatisfied overall.  If you do happen to pick up this issue though you can count on everything looking excellent and really that's the main draw of this series after everything is now said and done.


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