Thursday, October 13, 2016

The Flash Season 3 Episode 2 “Paradox" Review and **SPOILERS**

Written By: Greg Berlanti, Andre Kreisberg and Brooke Roberts 
Directed By: Aaron Helbing & Todd Helbing
First Aired: October 11, 2016

Barry followed up fucking up the time line with kidnapping, moving back in with his parents, kind of stalking Iris, nearly getting Wally killed and then blinking all those alt world fuckers out of existence because it was suddenly inconvenient for him. So instead of doing the honorable thing and sucking it up, he messed with the timeline again, and screwed up everyone's lives. What a selfish glory boy asshole. 

Caught up? Good. Let's get into tonight's proceedings. 

Explain It:

Seriously, this was an excellent episode. It was the first time since the end of season one that I felt so much joy watching an episode of The Flash. 

We pick up right where we left off, Barry sitting there looking like an asshole because he fucked up Joe and Iris' relationship with all his timeline tampering. Barry breaks the fuck out, I assumed to see Iris and find out what's what, but instead winds up in Star City to get Felicity's point of view. Here is a little protip for the readers at home, Felicity can solve any and all problems because she rules. 

Felicity gives Barry some advice telling him to let everyone know what's what so they can all move on. Of course he chooses to ignore ignore the sage wisdom of the nerd goddess until the end of the episode, because tension!!!!!! We also find out that his time tampering turned Diggle's infant daughter into his toddler son. Shit is cray!!!

Back at Star Labs the tension is deep. Turns out Cisco is hella heated at Barry because he won't go back in time to save his asshole brother. Cisco mopes around for most of the episode acting like an asshole mourning this shitty character that we have no real connection to because he was an arrogant prick. Joe and Iris are still at odds and Iris won't tell Barry why, because if he was a good boyfriend he would know why. Fucking Barry. Caitlyn is the biggest shocker of all, she is finally being well-written. I think we should take credit for making her shitty writing a constant in our recaps...I don't even care if Greg Berlanti and the gang read this shit at all, I'm still taking the credit. MAKE THE FLASH GREAT AGAIN!!!

Central City is all sorts of fucked up now. Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter is working in Barry's lab and it looks like Draco and Barry are the new Draco and Harry, because these two kitties do not get along...ME FUCKING OW!!!!!!!  

Human husks have been popping up all over Central City, which is fucking gross. Turns out some super awesome new bad guy named Alchemy (would be cooler if it was The Alchemist because his beats bang hard!). Alchemy is taking humans in this reality, who were meta-humans in the Flashpoint reality and giving them back their powers.  In the process they seem to be shedding their flesh. This week's husk is that asshole Rival from last week, he still totally sucks, he is like that dick The Miz from The Real World and the WWE but less entertaining or threatening. 

At some point Cisco being a sad fuck wears Barry down and he starts going back in time to create another reality where that dick Dante is still alive, luckily middle age plumber mascot looking Flash from earth three snatches Barry out of the time stream, brings him to some coffee shop in the 90s and learns Barry about his meddling ways. Really eye opening stuff for Barry, I guess because homeboy looks like his dad Barry is finally listening. 

Barry goes back, hips the crew to whats popping off and why everything seems fucked up. Iris and Joe make amends, Caitlyn is still being dope, and Cisco runs off. Barry gives chase, lets Cisco know that he "can't do nothing for him man" and Cisco gets sadder. 

Barry goes off to fight Rival and he gets double teamed by Rival and Alchemy only to be saved by Cisco rocking his Vibe skills. Back at the lab all is well, everyone is kind of happy. Barry is like "yo Cisco let's team up" and Cisco is all "nah, I'm not ready for that shit". Barry is like "word?" and Cisco is like, "but one day we can totes link bruh". 

Rival is in Iron Heights and Alchemy (who looks like Afrika Bambaataa if Afrika Bambaataa was a sith lord) comes through and either kills him or gives him super powers, who the fuck knows. Alchemy is an awesome villain, hopefully when he is revealed he will still be awesome, unlike Zoom. My money is on Draco being Alchemy because he is the biggest new star. 

Also, it seems in this reality Caitlyn has the Killer Frost skill set popping off. Should be interesting. 

Why Barry Allen Is An Asshole This Week:
Barry isn't as asshole at all this week, he is fucking awesome this week, though Cisco was being kind of a bitch about Dante, this bears monitoring, if current trends continue we will have to changed this section "How Cisco Was a Bitch This Week".

Sorry, I can't give it a perfect score because I'm like one of those asshole professors who refuses to give perfect scores because it sets a precedent or some shit. 


  1. So far the season feels only slightly different than past seasons. We have yet another speed villain and reality distortions. Sisko has (more/less)officially become Vibe and the secret (that isn't really a secret) is that Kimberely has (Killer)frost powers. Oddly enough, nothing feels 'new' but rather re-blended; which, I suppose, is the point of what the writers were hoping to accomplish with the Flashpoint. I'm just not sure at this early stage that this is a good thing. My fear is that in ensuing seasons Flash will end up like "Once Upon a Time" where so many variations of the characters will have been portrayed that any sense of what made the original characters unique in the first place will be lost.

  2. I also feel compelled to point out a plot hole that will likely go unexplained. The whole reason that Barry "un-did" the Flashpoint Universe by going back and letting Zoom kill his mother was because he did not like the consequences that existed in the Flashpoint Universe and, in particular, he was LOSING HIS MEMORY OF THE ORIGINAL TIME LINE. So my question is:

    Why does Barry still remember the Flashpoint time line? And should we not expect that in the coming episodes he will forget everything in the original time line as well, for the very same reason why he began forgetting the original time line when he was in the flashpoint universe? And if Barry forgets the time line, wouldn't Alchemy forget too?

    And how exactly can Jay Garrick "keep track" of Barry time-travelling and be aware of it? Would not Barry's time travelling effect Jay Garrick's memory too?

    Bah. Brain-screw!

  3. Awesome review! Can´t wait to get there! (i´m still in season 2)

  4. thanks for reading victor and shiva. The best part about these two episodes is the character is actually likable again. That can all change for sure. I dont know if I expect them to get the time travel paradoxes (or is it paradoxi) spot on, as long as its entertaining Im down with it. Last season the biggest issues for me were Barry turned into a whiny asshole, and Zoom who was once promising as a genuinely terrifying villain turned out to be jay "i have the personality of sheet rock' garrick and he instantly became dull and unimposing. especially since he was already defeated until barry handed him his power back.

    As I have been watching the action this year, I realized that it is the least effective part of the show. Dudes are essentially having a foot race followed by a punch or two. nothing to exciting. Speedster powers are dumb. And the cool thing about alchemy is that he isnt a speedster. he has real powers and seems like a really evil threat. I hope they dont ruin him.