Writer: Cecil Castellucci
Illustrator: Adriana Melo
Letters: Sal Cipriano
Cover: Dan Panosian
Associate Editor: Brittany Holzherr
Editor: Jamie S. Rich
Cover Price: $3.99
On Sale Date: April 3, 2019
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
Hey everybody gonna fret and worry!
They’re gonna make you hide and scurry!
They’re taking back what we stole from Madame Curie
They’re…the Feeemaaale Fuuuurriiieeeeees!
And here’s my review of issue #3!
Granny Goodness is pissed off at Beautiful Dreamer because she’s not conjuring the dream-stuff that Gran wants to see, but Dreamer explains that she can weave only from the ectoplasm available; since Granny is a stone-cold bitch, then the dreams made will be bitchy. Granny lets down her guard a little and gives Beautiful Dreamer her memory of having had to kill her dog Mercy…or maybe she tells B.D. about it. However it happens, Beauty is able to make nice dreams for all the Furies: leadership for Lashina, a family with Scott Free for Big Barda, and other points of continuity reference that more or less negate any earlier claims that this series is “out of continuity.”
While B.D. is playing Sandman to the Furies, she wakes Aurelie from her snooze and tells her that New Genesis is factually a better place than Apokolips and she should split. So she does, with Beautiful Dreamer! This raises some alarm bells, and Granny Goodness has to cover up the fact that she brought B. Dreamer to Apokolips in the first place. Word even gets to Darkseid, who confides in Granny Goodness that he suspects an incursion by New Genesis. Sensing an opportunity to make a power play, Granny promises that the Furies will ferret out the spy and save the day…for further shittiness.
Aurelie sends B.D. back to New Genesis, but feels she must stay on Apokolips to try and make things better. She’s captured by Willik, her abuser, who outfits her with metal leggings that burn her and cause her to die over time. Her BFF Big Barda, having dismissed Aurelie’s claims about Willik previously, feels remorse and as if there’s got to be a better way! And that’s when she’s contacted by none other than…Scott Free!
There’s a lot more intrigue to this story that I didn’t cover—it’s pretty complex, really. This story continues its strong commentary about sexual harassment in the workplace, but there’s a fairly interesting look at the inner-workings of Apokoliptan politics that came along with it. I dismiss any claims of this being “out of continuity” now; if it walks like a duck, etc. There’s also a funny thing happening with the lettering in a few spots, as if the wording were altered long after the balloons and page were rendered; indeed, the lettering sort of sucks throughout, and that’s not normally a thing I’d mention at all. Besides that, the art really seemed to take a dump this issue. I think there was some editorial hijinks behind the scenes, but in the end it’s just sort of a muddled, shrug-worthy issue.
Bits and Pieces:
The story moves along, with a few permissible hiccups, but fails to capture the reader’s attention. Despite the issue being weak visually, there are some cool scenes of Apokoliptan interiors that should interest any fanatics for the anti-life equation.