Sunday, June 1, 2014

Secret Origins #2 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Ray Fawkes, Jeff Parker, Scott Lobdell
Art By: Dustin Nguyen, Alvaro Martinez, Paulo Siqueira
Cover Price: $4.99
Release Date: May 28, 2014

Not So Secret Origins

So here we are again looking at a book we just know will be a waste of time because they're trying to sell us things we've already seen, and not only that things we've seen lately.  So what am I to do?  Do I just say the hell with it and not review it?  Well that's what I wanted but Jim the co-founder of Weird Science wouldn't let me so here we are.  For this month's Secret Origins we'll be looking at Batman, Aquaman, and Starfire.  Now I can kind of see Aquaman and Starfire but Batman?  Who the hell in this day and age doesn't know Batman's origin?  Okay let's dive into this useless book and see if we can squeeze any new knowledge out of it.

Explain It!:

So you know how Bruce Wayne's parents were murdered as they were leaving the Monarch Theater?  Okay well you're all caught up.  This issue of Secret Origins is taking the Batman Zero Year approach to telling Batman's origin, and that would be fine and all if we hadn't just seen it during this Zero Year event Batman's going through right now.  Yadda yadda yadda, Bruce Wayne spends his life training to become the Dark Knight, and we can move on.

As for Aquaman he seems like a better fit for something called Secret Origins.  Even though the character has had a boost in popularity since the New 52 started, there are still a shit ton of people that don't know this fish talking mother fucker's origins.  So yeah Tom Curry is saved by an Atlantean named Atlanna the two stay together and have a son, Arthur.  But eventually Aquaman's mom said she was going out for a pack of smokes and father and son never saw her again.  To figure out what was going on with his son's abilities to breath underwater and communicate with sea life, Tom Curry befriends a scientist named Dr. Shin to study his son, and keep the findings secret.  So all is well until Arthur graduates and Dr. Shin calls a reporter to do a story on Arthur.  Well I guess the friendship is over because Tom Curry goes and throws all the data Shin has collected over the years into the ocean, and in response Dr. Shin hires a treasure seeking mercenary to retrieve a blood sample from the drop site.

Meanwhile Aquaman hears that a plane went down off the coast, and dives in to go to their rescue.  The only way to save everyone on board is to simply lift the plane out of the water, and when he does everyone around sees that he's of the super powered variety of people, so much for secret identities.  While this is all going down that mercenary Dr. Shin hired confronts Tom Curry and when Aquaman walks it he throws him through a window, and to Arthur's eyes it looks like he attacked his father, because Tom Curry is gripping his chest.  Well Tom Curry died, and Aquaman goes on the hunt for the man that killed his father.  Two things wrong with that is Tom Curry died from pneumonia that had weakened his heart, and Aquaman killed the wrong man, resulting in Black Manta seeking revenge against Aquaman for killing his father.  Then we go through all the adventures that Aquaman's had throughout the New 52, which really seems strange because it's really not a secret is it?  So that's Aquaman's origin, where he leaves the land goes to Atlantis, meets Mera and goes back to land.  Yeah Secret Origins.

Finally we dive into Starfire's back story, where Koriand'r's home world is invaded and she is forced into slavery.  When she first leaves her home world she's the subject of an experiment that is trying to study her genetic potential, and then she just sits around for the next several years it looks like, focusing on her rage.  Until eventually her rage gets the best of her and her powers appear when she's attacking a guard.  Now it's back to the experimentation.  What we could of learned here was if the experiments when she was younger gave her her powers, or if she was just born with them, but nope we're left in the dark, and so are the slave masters that are trying to find our her potential.  So eventually Starfire makes some friends and after many more years of doing hard labor she embraces her power, and her and her friends overthrow their slave masters.  Starfire vows to one day free her people, and that's all.  Now if you read Red Hood and The Outlaws you'd already know most of this, and Scott Lobdell had the perfect opportunity to show us how Starfire got to Earth and started kicking around with Jason Todd.  But of course we can't have any of the inconsistencies that the New 52 has brought us cleared up at all.  No we're left with re-runs, and no new material.  

Bits and Pieces:

For the most part there isn't really any reason this book should exist.  Now I could see if DC wanted to fix the inconsistencies that were presented to us with the New 52, but we get the same things rehashed to us, and being good fans we're just expected to buy the same story again. If they decided this book was for B or C list characters I could get behind that, but giving us Batman's origin?  That's a slap to the face, and while we're reeling from that attack they kick us in the balls or vages.  I hope when DC runs out of A list characters in future months we can get to the real Secret Origins.


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