Monday, February 22, 2016

Just for the Hell of it Mondays - Top 15 Fake Television Bands

No, this is not a list of Milli Vanilli wannabes, but some of my favorite fake bands that have appeared in television shows.  I didn't want to include bands that the show they appear on is about so no Partridge Family, The Monkees or Josie and the Pussycats here.  Just pure rocking goodness from some kickass fictional bands.

15. Jet Screamer - The Jetsons

Appearing in the second episode of the Jetsons, Jet Screamer is your typical teen idol (supposedly modeled after Ricky Nelson) and Judy thinks he's the most.  In fact, the episode revolves around her entering a contest to win a date with him and while George tries to sabotage it, he ends up submitting the song that won Judy the date and gave us the song that put Jet Screamer on this list..."Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah"

14. The Wayouts - The Flinstones

The Wayouts appeared in the episode "The Masquerade Party" and caused quite the sensation.  This Beatles ripoff dressed as spacemen and while their look caused a panic (which Fred got sucked into), I always liked their awesome theme song.

13. The Honey Bees - Gilligan's island

The episode "Don't Bug the Mosquitos" was full of bands, but it's the trio "with a really, really big future" that I loved the most.  The Honey Bees were so good that the Mosquitos (another Beatles ripoff) high tailed it off the island to avoid the competition.  If you ask me, Mrs. Howell kicks total ass and easily holds her won with Mary Ann and Ginger.

12. Jesse and the Rippers - Full House

I know that some may think they deserve a higher place on this list, Jessie and the Rippers were huge in Japan, but never made it big stateside.  Also, I am more of a fan of Barry and the Rippers and their hit, "April Girl" which took the country and the Tanner household by storm...much to Jessie's chagrin!  Still, Jessie and the Rippers make the list with their song, "Forever".  

11. Dingoes Ate My Baby - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anyone who watched Buffy knows the Dingoes and their awesome guitarist, Oz.  The reason they aren't higher is the music was actually done by "real" band, Four Star Mary, but who can deny a band whose lead singer (Oz's friend, Devon) dated both Cordelia and Harmony?  The can't!

10. The Blowholes - The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Some bands form to get fame, others for fortune, but little Pete formed the Blowholes to find his song.  In one of the most meta examples on this list, the younger Pete hears Polaris (the band who sings the awesome theme song from the show) while walking home and the Blowholes are the result of him wanting to recapture the magic of his favorite song.  It all happens in the episode "A Hard Day's Pete" and the band includes Syd Straw and Marshall Crenshaw, but it's Pete who rocks the hardest when he finds his song and sends it out over WART radio for everyone to enjoy.  (go to 5:00 to get to the song, but you should watch every episode of this show if you get the chance)

9. Boyz 12 - American Dad

It's no secret at the Cardboard Box Factory that I am a big boy band fan so it's no surprise that the supergroup, Boyz 12 made the list.  When Lew Schneider combined "Boy Bomb" with "Boy Jam" and "Boyz with Mouthz", magic happened.  Too bad that Boyz 13 were already on the scene and caused Lew to shoot himself.  Oh well, we are left with a couple great songs and what could have been.

8. Leather Tuscadero - Happy Days

She may be known as Pinky's little sister, but Leather (played by real life glam rocker Suzi Quatro) rocked Arnold's on numerous occasions.  I'd like to think that she gave Joanie her inspiration to start singing with Chachi...but I won't hold that against her.  

7. Be Sharps - The Simpsons

This may be a straight up ripoff of the Beatles, but it's also straight up hilarious. Back in 1985, barbershop was all the rage and the Be Sharps were right there on top.  Who could forget their biggest hit, Baby on Board"?  As a huge Beatles fan, this  episode hit all the right notes, but I'll always be a "Wiggum Forever, Barney Never" kind of guy.

6.The Silver Platters - The Brady Bunch

While the Brady Bunch had a couple groups (the Brady Six and Johnny Bravo), my favorite is the Silver Platters.  No matching jumpsuits here, just kick ass melodies and the dream of winning a hundred dollars to get their parents a nice gift.  Of all of the kids, Marsha is by far the star, but I love how Bobby tries to groove out during his part.  It's a shame that he gets in that race car accident later in life and ends those dance moves forever.

5. 5 Neat Guys - SCTV

Oh those crazy Canadians.  They love themselves some 5 Neat Guys and so do I.  With the hits, "Who Made the Egg Salad Sandwiches", "She Does It" and so much more, I smile everytime I hear them on my transistor radio.  Plus, their sweaters spell out "5 Neat" and that is just pure awesomeness!

4. Timmy And The Lords Of The Underworld - South Park

If it wasn't for Skyler taking Phil Collin's advice, this band really could have been rock gods. Sure, they got back together, but it just was a little too late if you ask me.  This band has the distinction of being the only one on this list to have a song in Rock Band.

3. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem- The Muppet Show

Dr. Teeth, Animal, Sgt. Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot and later Lips were one of the best bands on TV and have stood the test of time.  While they have played with everyone that matters, I always loved when they were introduced by Kermit and brought the Muppet Show to it's knees.  I don't care what Statler and Waldorf say, they are great.

2. The Blues Brothers - Saturday Night Live

While most know them for their awesome 80's movie, the Blues Brothers started as a Saturday Night Live skit band, but they were more kick ass than slap your knee funny.  Elwood and Jake went from warm up band to skit to musical guest to movie stars and with their backup band of accomplished musicians, it's not really a surprise.  They only appeared on SNL three times, but make number two on my list.

1. Zack Attack - Saved by the Bell

Best. Band. Ever.  Zack Attack went from garage band to superstardom, but then lost it all.  Casey Kasem told us everything in the Behind the Music episode "Rockumentary" and while it broke my heart that Zack let it all go to his head, the band got back together and are still out there rocking for Mr. Belding's approval.  I'm ending my list with their biggest hit, "Friends Forever".


  1. What do you mean, Jesse and the Rippers was a "fake band?!" They fucking RIPPED!

    And I can't believe I forgot Zack Attack! That duet between A.C. and Jessie was so fake, it's amazing

    1. I really do prefer Barry and the Rippers after Greg Brady took over

  2. You forgot about the Beets!

    Killer Tofu

    1. Can never forget the Beets. They eat their sugar cereal... even though it makes their teeth bacteria-a-al