Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The New 52: Futures End #36 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Brian Azzarello, Jeff Lemire, Dan Jurgens, Keith Giffen
Art By: Scot Eaton, Scott Hanna, Hi-Fi
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: January 7, 2015

Batman's A Peeping Tom

For our quick recap this week you'll need to know that Frankenstein hasn't been himself since Ray Palmer gave him the arm of Hawkman and the Nth metal mixed with his undead biology.......He's a little more mortal than before and after sustaining a fatal blow and Ray Palmer not having the ability to save him, Amethyst decides to go to the Justice League Dark for help.  King Faraday is trying to get Fifty Sue and Voodoo's crew to obtain a vault that was on Cadmus Island that fell into the ocean after the facility exploded and maybe he will because it looks like Fifty Sue will fall in line now that Lana slapped her across the face and murder and mayhem didn't ensue.  Constantine and Superman have been going around the world searching for points of evil.........or where Brainiac has left minions behind and Batman Beyond had himself a bad time last week when he came face to face with the Batman/Joker Brother Eye monster from the future.  All this and Madison Payne becoming the new Firestorm with Jason Rusch and having her first super villain fight.  Man the future is crazy.  Let's continue the insanity.

Explain It!:

Our foray into the future begins with Frankenstein being surrounded by the Justice League Dark as they try and cure him...... of his injuries or the Nth metal or probably both but that doesn't matter to me because from what I learned in the Justice League Dark Futures End issue, the JLD were trapped in another dimension and couldn't be freed or visited for mystical doctoring.  I'm calling shenanigans but at this point it doesn't seem like any of the tie-ins with Futures End month have any bearing on what's going on here and that just leaves me pissed that all of September was a waste.  So with my general disdain for continuity errors aside, Frankenstein couldn't be helped and we find out when Constantine just shows up to poke fun, that he had something to do with Gemworld falling and Amethyst makes good with her promise to kill him the next time she saw him by running him through with her sword..............  Yeah, not much has changed with the JLD in five years.

Next we'll travel to Las Vegas and to Smallville where first Fifty Sue proves that she found the secret vault that King Faraday wanted by making it just appear, crushing everything around it and scaring the shit out of her teammates.  It's best not to prod her too much.  Now in Smallville we see that Constantine didn't meet his end in the House of Mystery at the end of Amethyst's sword........... I don't know he did some magic thing like astral project or any number of different magical things that could explain why he simply wakes up in Smallville with his now Brainiac crazed friend Midge sitting on him.  All this section boils down to is that Constantine is alive and when he meets back up with Clark they discuss how Smallville is one of those ancient evil places and it might be why his spaceship crashed in the first place............It's all conjecture and doesn't really lead us anywhere so I'll just say that this section is just to show that Constantine magic-ed his way out of peril.

Let's move over to New York, where Batman Beyond and Plastique are trying to get their bearings after coming face to face with the future Batman and Joker all fused together and Brother Eyed up.  It's at this time where we find out that in the war torn future there's no time for love Dr. Jones.........Terry's a virgin.  So since Terry's a virgin and the two have some time on their hands waiting for Tim Drake to show back up at his bar, Plastique figures she'll remove that burden from him and as we pan away we see Batman peeping in on them........... Now I know that he's Batman and he needs to wrap his head around another Batman running around but there is decency to think about here............Avert your eyes you perv!

In the end we head up to the Justice League Defense Station Omega..........The Watch Tower Five Years From Now.  There Stormguard and Shazam wax poetic about the symbols they both bear and what they stand for.  We also get Stormguard's origin where he was fighting parademons at the White House so the President could make his escape and I'm not trying to sound unpatriotic but it's not much of a origin story.  He continued fighting when he was too tired to fight and draped the American flag over him as he fought the battle that would turn the tides of the war............ Stormguard!  After the two finish talking about Superman's shield and the American flag like they're the same thing, Madison Payne surprises both of them when she transports into the station asking for help.

What You Talking Bout?

During my Explain It! I talked about how the Justice League Dark were supposed to be in another dimension they couldn't escape from and in the comic it looks like they try to say the team is still stuck there but that just doesn't jive with what we were told during their Futures End event tie-in issue.  No leaving and no visitors, so I'm just really disappointed that the team would be used and no mention about how it's possible.  It's called continuity and to some, it's important.

That's it for this issue of Futures End and it's seems like we're back in a lull here.  Not much going on in this issue and it's kind of odd to me that even though we have one artist, it kind of comes off like a bunch of artists had their hands in this.  Maybe it's just me but the best looking sections are the Batman Beyond and the Shazam/Stormguard section.  I just might be crazy or it's possible that Scot Eaton was going for different styles here, I don't know.  Hopefully next week the book will be back to the high impact storytelling that I love...............Pretty much that means I just want some action......I'm pretty juvenile that way but hey, Batman Beyond and Plastique getting it on!  Yeah, I'm pretty juvenile that way too.  See you next week where hopefully our excitement gets peaked.

Bits and Pieces:

I'm not really digging any of the stories this week because..........well they're pretty weak.  Not much going on here except for a lot of our heroes having down time and them not knowing what to do with it.  The art too wasn't as good as it's been and I hate saying that because I usually love Scot Eaton's work.  All in all, not really a memorable issue.  



  1. Actually stormguard was injured and he used the american flag as a thing to plug up the wound, but it was long enough to be his kinda showed america's way of never giving up to protect our country...kinda liked tbh

    buuuttt i would LOVE it if it was all a lie, and stormguard is actually Val from earth 2

    1. Oh I get the symbolism, I just don't get the part that makes it interesting.