Bodies in Motion...in a Cube
Written by: Robert Venditti
Art: Raul Allen & Patricia Martin
Cover Price: $3.99
Release Date: June 15, 2016
Publisher: Valiant
Review by: Paul B.
***This Review originally appeared on Paul's site datbeardedbastard so go check everything he has going on there!!!***
Today was the day that I set aside to do this review, and as my luck usually goes, a monkey wrench was thrown at me. My netbook will not exit tablet mode and I have to drag my fat fingers and knuckles across the touchpad keyboard! The show must go on because I'm not even ready for work and the clock's tickin'.
As usual for Valiant books, we get an intro page and quick recap, which I always appreciate since it doesn't slow down the story to get new readers up to speed. The first thing that came to mind when reading this issue was Venditti must have dozed off one night while watching Cube (not Cube 2: Hypercube!), and when he woke up, he decided to put an immortal in the cube and see how the hell he gets out of it.
I have to admit that the results are damn interesting and well paced. We start off with our immortal, Gilad, looking not so immortal in a giant pool of his own blood. (Jim's Note: I really hoped this was Gilad from Bodies in Motion, but I kind of doubt it!) I wonder how much money he can make selling plasma and blood? He can be bloody rich (terrible pun intended, although I know it's lame. It's my first review, give me a break!)
So each time he dies in this labyrinth he awakens in a paradise with his wife and children and while that's not what paradise is to a lot of us married folks, it is to him. He tells his wife that there is a man that knows who he is... The Eternal Warrior! His children are just glad that he died so soon, since they get to see him each time. Talk about strange visitation setups!
Unlike the previous issues, his wife knows that Gilad is going to keep going back no matter how many times he "dies", so she hands him his trusty battleaxe and he is off again. This part reminds me of heading of to that dreadful place called work on a Sunday morning and my wife makes sure that I take all my snacks and coffee to battle through a twelve hour day. Okay it's not the same, but if you had to work with some of my co-workers you would see why I would make the connection.
As he is about to take off, his oldest son decides that now is the best time to have a talk. Really kid?! You were a douche to daddy when he wanted to bond with you in previous issues, and now that he is about to wreck shop on some fools and you want to have a Field of Dreams moment? Go to your room, cue up some Cats in the Cradle and wait until daddy dies again, you brat!
So, Gilad returns and we learn that the creepy glasses guy has a complete set of data on him and starts the second trial. We get more Cube inspired "deaths" of Gilad and I'll admit, some of them are pretty intense. It was after the seventh death that I felt like Venditti was watching Groundhog Day as well, and I was diggin' it.
I don't want to spoil too much, but let's say that things change even more for the worse for Gilad and you can fully blame the dark arts for that. We see Gilad face the likes of this demonic bastard in the pic above right before he thinks he figured the whole thing out. So what does he do?!
The crazy bastard lets himself get chomped on by this demon dog...sonovabitch!!! At this point I had no idea what Gilad was up to, then I thought I figured it all out. In Cube, one of the ways to stay alive had to do with math and solving problems.
I have no idea what the hell Gilad wrote here, but the creepy glasses guy sure as hell does, and he doesn't like it. So the issue ends with Gilad turning the tables on that old bastard and we will have to wait and see where it goes from here.
Overall I really enjoyed this issue. It was paced like a movie and never really seemed to drag. Because of that, it was a really fast read, but in a good way. In the end, If you are a fan of Venditti, you know his best work is with Valiant so you get an idea of what to expect.
As usual for Valiant books, we get an intro page and quick recap, which I always appreciate since it doesn't slow down the story to get new readers up to speed. The first thing that came to mind when reading this issue was Venditti must have dozed off one night while watching Cube (not Cube 2: Hypercube!), and when he woke up, he decided to put an immortal in the cube and see how the hell he gets out of it.
I have to admit that the results are damn interesting and well paced. We start off with our immortal, Gilad, looking not so immortal in a giant pool of his own blood. (Jim's Note: I really hoped this was Gilad from Bodies in Motion, but I kind of doubt it!) I wonder how much money he can make selling plasma and blood? He can be bloody rich (terrible pun intended, although I know it's lame. It's my first review, give me a break!)
Unlike the previous issues, his wife knows that Gilad is going to keep going back no matter how many times he "dies", so she hands him his trusty battleaxe and he is off again. This part reminds me of heading of to that dreadful place called work on a Sunday morning and my wife makes sure that I take all my snacks and coffee to battle through a twelve hour day. Okay it's not the same, but if you had to work with some of my co-workers you would see why I would make the connection.
As he is about to take off, his oldest son decides that now is the best time to have a talk. Really kid?! You were a douche to daddy when he wanted to bond with you in previous issues, and now that he is about to wreck shop on some fools and you want to have a Field of Dreams moment? Go to your room, cue up some Cats in the Cradle and wait until daddy dies again, you brat!
So, Gilad returns and we learn that the creepy glasses guy has a complete set of data on him and starts the second trial. We get more Cube inspired "deaths" of Gilad and I'll admit, some of them are pretty intense. It was after the seventh death that I felt like Venditti was watching Groundhog Day as well, and I was diggin' it.
I don't want to spoil too much, but let's say that things change even more for the worse for Gilad and you can fully blame the dark arts for that. We see Gilad face the likes of this demonic bastard in the pic above right before he thinks he figured the whole thing out. So what does he do?!
The crazy bastard lets himself get chomped on by this demon dog...sonovabitch!!! At this point I had no idea what Gilad was up to, then I thought I figured it all out. In Cube, one of the ways to stay alive had to do with math and solving problems.
I have no idea what the hell Gilad wrote here, but the creepy glasses guy sure as hell does, and he doesn't like it. So the issue ends with Gilad turning the tables on that old bastard and we will have to wait and see where it goes from here.
Overall I really enjoyed this issue. It was paced like a movie and never really seemed to drag. Because of that, it was a really fast read, but in a good way. In the end, If you are a fan of Venditti, you know his best work is with Valiant so you get an idea of what to expect.
Bits and Pieces:
On my beard scale, I would give this 3.5 out of 5 beards. The writing is good, but what took me out of a few panels were the way some faces lacked detail. The coloring was well done but doesn't stand out for a book that has a grimy tone to it.
On my beard scale, I would give this 3.5 out of 5 beards. The writing is good, but what took me out of a few panels were the way some faces lacked detail. The coloring was well done but doesn't stand out for a book that has a grimy tone to it.
7.0/10
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