Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Catwoman #32 Review

Written by: Ann Nocenti
Art by: Patrick Olliffe
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: June 25, 2014

On Your Marks...Rev It Up...Race!

Webster's defines a "guilty pleasure" as something pleasurable that induces a usually minor feeling of guilt.  Catwoman is my guilty pleasure even if my guilt in enjoying it is far from only minor.  It is a  laugh out loud rip roaring good time even if Ann Nocenti doesn't mean it to be.  I have called for Nocenti to be dropped from this book numerous times, but when the inevitable happens I will be sad. Sure, we'll get a better Catwoman book that the character deserves, but where will my monthly quota of horrible dialogue, ridiculous situations and inane characterization come from?  Well, that's not here nor there because this month we return to the Race of Thieves, the global event that takes place mainly in Gotham and hasn't really involved a race yet.  I say yet, because this month we get an actual race.  So start your camel, tank and bullet train, the race is on.

When the Race of Thieves was announced, I had visions of a Cannonball Run style romp with C and D list villains racing Catwoman for the ultimate prize.  Instead, Ann Nocenti has given us a fight on a beach, a cold case investigation involving a freelance coroner and a giant gold elephant.  It made me laugh, but it made no sense whatsoever.  This issue finally gives us an actual race, but don't worry, it's still ridiculous.

We also get more of our freelance coroner investigation of the Viceroy Murder.  First, what the hell is a "freelance" coroner?  Does he travel the land righting the wrongs of the coroner world?  Maybe he's like Caine from Kung Fu, but a coroner.  Let's go with that.  I don't know if Ann understands what a coroner does, but in this book they open cold cases and do alot of detective work.  He kind of figures things out with a little scientific work, some sleuthing and a whole lot of jumping to conclusions and nonsense.  Catwoman does a bit of investigating as well and it's just as ridiculous.

As you'd expect, the race doesn't make much sense either.  I'm not going to get into it deeply so just trust me.  There are vehicles racing, ridiculous dialogue and helicopters and missiles.  Catwoman brings a helicopter down with a handheld rope shooter and Mirror Master tries to stop a train with a...well, a mirror of course.  The funny thing is, those are the two things that make the most sense.  There's also odds fixing and bragging about camels.  Awesome.  

When the race ends, Catwoman and the gang figure out they've been played by Roulette and boy are they pissed.  Catwoman promises to get "very, very cold."  And scene.  What would I do without you, Catwoman?

This is where I tell you that Patrick Olliffe's art is pretty good.  It really doesn't matter, the book is so bad a cringe worthy that no one will really be looking at the art.  It;s like saying a Nickleback album has good cover art.  Does it really matter?

Bits and Pieces:

Catwoman is an awful book that I look forward to each month.  I wish I could say it's so bad it's good, but it's actually just so bad it makes me laugh my ass off.  Ann Nocenti should give up the ghost and let fans have the book they deserve.  Until then, join me in the laugh fest I call Catwoman.


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