Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Justice League of America #8 Review and *SPOILERS*

Suck On That God!

Written By: Bryan Hitch
Art By: Bryan Hitch, Daniel Henriques, Alex Sinclair, Chris Eliopoulos
Cover Price: $3.99
Release Date: March 30, 2016

*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*

Is this still a book that I review?  I have lost so much interest in this title because of how it takes forever for an issue to come out and when it finally does show up, with flowers and "I love yous", I just have a hard time taking it seriously because I have no idea where it's been......... Yeah, that's a weird way of saying that I have no idea what's been going on in this book because of the long breaks between releases.  It's gotta be reviewed though so I put on my thinking cap and remembered that in the previous issue we had Superman become a prisoner of Rao, strapped up in his main space ship cathedral and then Superman used his strength and flying ability to force the cathedral into the moon.  There is a lot of other stuff going on in this book, but it's really all over the place at this point and the only thing I think you need to know is that Batman and Cyborg are trying to come up with a plan to stop Rao and Wonder Woman and Aquaman have gathered Olympian weapons to take on the mad God........... even though Wonder Woman is Olympus........... man, that's stupid.  Anyway, let's jump into this issue and see what our Justice League team can do to take down Rao and hopefully turn this title around............ hopefully they have the power to make this book come out on time.  Let's check it out.

Explain It!:

Our issue begins with Rao's cathedral destroyed on the moon and since Superman is now free, he figures why not punch god in the face a shitload of times and crash land back on Earth.  As it turns out though, Clark should have done the responsible thing and use his words, not his fists because we find out that Rao can't be hurt, but somehow the people who have given him their life force by worshiping him are dropping off like flies.  That's right, Superman has inadvertently killed a bunch of people............ or he hasn't.......... we see a panel where a bunch of people are lying down in the street and I have no idea how it's chosen who gets hurt when Rao gets attacked......... like is it everyone?  Whoever's life force happens to be in the attacked area?  It's all very odd and maybe those people are just hurt, but because I'm a Negative Nancy, I'm going to scream, point and yell that Superman has killed some fools.  Once our Man of Steel realizes what he's doing though, he's completely at the mercy of Rao............ Too bad nobody told Aquaman though because Wonder Woman and him come out of nowhere and we see the King of Atlantis straight up impale Rao on Poseidon's trident........ and I'm guessing that's like thirty worshipers taking a dirt nap now.  

After Superman relays the screwed-ness that our heroes are all in, we learn that Superman has been in on a plan with Batman and Cyborg, where our Man of Steel has just been keeping Rao busy while they got things together, but now they're ready and Cyborg opens a boom tube and Superman, Aquaman and Wonder Woman force Rao through it, where they wind up back where we started in the first issue in Metropolis at the Clean Energy Power Plant.  That's not the only reminder of the first issue either because we also have Parasite joining the party because Batman promised that he'd be set free if he helped out........... which Parasite is a huge dummy for in comics lately.  Now it's time for some Weird Science.  So the plan is for Parasite to grab Rao and suck him off a bit, while Dr. Stone monitors the energy levels that are somehow attached to Parasite.......... and all we keep getting is Dr. Stone saying that it's not enough energy, but all it comes off as is Scotty yelling at Kirk that he's giving it all he's got because we have no idea how much power is needed or why a certain amount of power is needed at all.  All we end up with is the Justice League going in and giving Parasite their power as well and even Flash comes back from 1961 with the Infinity Corporation to give Parasite access to the Speed Force............ even though we don't know why or how Flash wound up being in 1961 because nothing ever came of it besides getting him out of the comic for awhile............ God, I hate this.  

In the end, Superman is dying from his injuries from when he fought Rao, but jumps in the mix anyway and with Flash's extra energy we find out that the superfluous meter that Dr. Stone is monitoring is now full and Cyborg relays Parasite's energy into the power plant, making everyone who was under Rao's effect normal again......... for some reason.  As our issue closes, Rao's pissed about losing his power, but senses the Forever Stones inside the Infinity Corporation building and goes after them, while the rest of our heroes see that during the fight Superman died.  

That's it for this issue of Justice League of America and I really hope that this series reads better in trade because right now it's a mess.......... and I'm not sure if that's only because of the delays, but it sure doesn't help the situation.  The whole plan that our heroes come up with is so over the top and convoluted that I really stopped caring about this story halfway through because everything was just happening without much of an explanation at all........... and then out of nowhere Flash shows up.......... because.  I know that you can simply say that the JLA used the same method in defeating Rao as they did Parasite in the first issue, but there's so much that we don't know, like why does hurting Rao hurt the people who worship him?  How do you quantify life energy and how is there a meter that Dr. Stone keeps looking at that has to hit a certain level before they can initiate their plan and why do our heroes have to give up their energy to accomplish this task?  I know that it looks like Aquaman is actually using his trident to power a capacitor, but that only lasts one panel and then after that, it's all about giving Parasite their power..........  and it could be said that they're all giving Parasite their power while the capacitor charges so that he could hold on to Rao, but there is so much talk about power that it gets confusing as hell and I'm just trying to come up with reasons for this to make sense.  I'm just left perplexed and when it's all said and done we're left with Superman dead instead of an explanation.  Also, I'm not a fan of this art at all.  I really thought that things were coming around on this end of the book, but every time I saw Wonder Woman in this issue she looked like Helena Bonham Carter from Tim Burton's Planet of The Apes.......... and in case you were smarter than me and didn't watch that flick, she was an ape.  Just a mess of a story that is continuously hurt more by being delayed.

Bits and Pieces:

On top of being delayed for over a month, this story is hurt from its "Let's just throw it out there and not explain a damn thing to those suckers" attitude and its less than stellar art.  Halfway through this book I just stopped caring about how our heroes were going to win the day because it was so over the top and convoluted that I figured if this book wasn't going to try than neither would I.......... but I trudged on........... and I regret that decision.  Even though I was really looking forward to this title when it was first announced, it has become something that I loathe to read because besides for decent cliffhangers, it has nothing going on issue to issue.



  1. Lots of power sucking going on in the DC Universe right now, just sayin.

    1. Lots of fucking over Parasite too......... and all he wants to do is suck on people a bit.

    2. *Arms of the angels plays as images of a sad parasite are shown* for 2.99 twice a month, you can help parasite get his suck on

  2. It still baffles me that this guys getting the Justice League book.

    1. I am a little surprised too...he is only writing so maybe that will cure the delay problem, but most people who like him, tend to go in for his artwork. I know that Eric didn't like it in this issue...I liked it a little more than he did (I think it is WAY better than last week's Cyborg! You hear that Eric!!!)

    2. Wasn't sure if Jasae was talking about the new writer or Jim possibly reviewing this book instead of Eric.

    3. I think I prefer mongoloid Shazam to Ape-Face Wonder Woman

    4. oh snap! dirty SOB

  3. I remember reading the first issue and thinking "Wow, this is gonna be cool." Now I just want it to be over with. The best thing I could say about this issue is that it was a quick read.

  4. What will Kara Zor-El think of her cousin, Kal-El engaged in a serious physical fight with Krypton's SunGod RAO?
    Very shocking!