Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Batgirl #30 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Marguerite Bennett
Art By: Robert Gill
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: April 9, 2014

Don't Kids Play With Ouija Boards Anymore?

For the last two months we were given a treat by bringing Batgirl out of her gloomy depression with a fun story about Batgirl and Strix fighting a delusional vampire hunter who thought that the Bat Family were night stalkers, who kept the people of Gotham under their undead thumb.  In the end of that story arc, it turned out that there were vampires in Gotham, and Batgirl wasn't prepared to deal with the actual undead.  But as luck would have it, I Vampire hero Andrew Bennett was in the neighborhood, and was willing to take care of their vampire problem.  Good old horror fun that you don't get to see very often, especially in Gotham.  So what do we have this month?  Well it's another horror story.  Strange.  But before we jump into this tale of horror and mystery let me warn you.  This issue is a post Forever Evil title, and talks about the fate of Dick Grayson.  Even though I always put SPOILERS in my reviews, I just need you to know that this one has extra SPOILERS.  So be warned.
Explain It!:

Our spooky tale of suspense begins with a simple college sleep over........ Wait wait wait.  I remember those being wherever you fall that's where you sleep.  But instead of having alcohol poisoning fun, a few friends get together and play a game called The Midnight Man.  It's a simply game where you draw a door on the floor with yellow chalk, and have flowers sitting in whiskey as an offering, then you sit hands connected and recite a poem about the Midnight Man.  As the legends go this will make the Midnight Man come forth.  As far as games go, I don't think I want to win this one.  So like when you were a elementary schooler playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror, nothing happened.  That is until the college students go to sleep an hour later, at that point we have Batgirl join the story.

At a nearby building Barbara looks out onto the city, and thinks about her APPARENTLY DEAD FRIEND, DICK GRAYSON!  What the fuck Forever Evil!?  What the Fuck!?  Now this isn't the worst of it, I can understand a spoiler from a comic that was supposed to come out after the conclusion of the event, but when we first see Batgirl it sounds like she doesn't know if Dick is dead, and just assumes it.  The exact line reads "Dick used to do a lot of things, but now he's gone, isn't he--"  Then we spend the rest of the issue with Barbara remembering what Dick and her did over the years, and the things he used to say and do.  But after this line it reverts to him just being dead.  I don't know, maybe Batgirl has no idea what she's talking about, and Dick is fine and well, but come on...... Why would you do this to me?  Rage filled complaining aside, I guess we'll get back to the story.

While Batgirl is reminiscing about Nightwing her EMF detector goes off.  Now they tell you what these things are in every episode of every ghost hunting show, and it pisses me off, so I'm not going to explain what they are and do.  I just won't so if you are one of the few people in the world that hasn't caught one of these shows I'm sorry, I just can't do it.  So the EMF detector points Batgirl to a house in the neighborhood, and she enters to find a gigantic black slime monster about to devour one of the sleeping teenagers that played that silly game Midnight Man.  Batgirl wakes the kids up, and they run up the stairs to get away.  I know that you think this is a classic horror movie trope, that instead of leaving they run upstairs, but now that Batgirl's inside all the doors and windows are covered in ooze, and they are trapped.  So the trope is acceptable for this scenario.  But before Bagirl can get the kids upstairs the monster seemed to be tying to mimic her face, which leads Batgirl to the obvious conclusion that the creature is some sort of mimic.  Well done.  

Once upstairs Batgirl has her and the kids enter a person size air vent, and wants them to lead her to the kitchen, because even though she was just face to face with a nightmare creature she remembers what Batman taught her about dealing with mystical monsters, they hate sage.  Well if this happens at my house let's hope the monster hates an abundance of ketchup, cause that's one thing I can do....... Ketchup.  I really need to go grocery shopping, or know how to cook.  You know what?  How about I just don't conjure any monsters, that sounds like a plan too.  Anyway Batgirl makes it to the kitchen and fights off the monster with burning sage.  The monster retreats back into the drawn door on the living room floor, and the nightmare is over.  All is well, and Batgirl leaves the house thinking more about her maybe dead friend Dick, and why all this supernatural stuff has been going on in Gotham.

In the end we have a small epilogue about the city workers that paint the lines on the streets.  Apparently someone put flowers and whiskey into one of their barrels of paint, and instead of reporting it, they continue to paint the yellow lines on the streets.  We pan out to see that the section they had finished with that barrel was the block that the monster appeared.

Bits and Pieces:

Well I really don't know what to make of this Batgirl story.  It was chock full of possible spoilers to the conclusion of Forever Evil which is annoying, and seemed to only work as a way to piss people off.  While this is only a filler issue, it takes us back to the dark depressing time of Batgirl Wanted, and I really wish I hadn't just read this issue.  Nothing was really here to satisfy my Batgirl hunger, and left me really disappointed.  So read at your own discretion.  


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