Friday, June 13, 2014

Top 5 Fridays: Top 5 Worst Deaths In The DC Comics Universe

This week's Top 5 Fridays is a bit of a struggle for me because I'm sick as hell.  While I'm sitting here wallowing in hate and exhaustion..... and a little bit more hate, I'm thinking about death and how it's sweet release would cure me of all this sickness.  Yeah it's a little morbid, but I feel awful so give me a break.  So like I said thinking about death and I figured we'd take a look at the worst deaths in DC Comics, but not like the most brutal or anything torture porn like that, I'm talking about the deaths that were unexpected,
ridiculous, and or kind of ironic.  All of that is way too long of a title so I'm sticking with "Worst" deaths, but don't say I didn't give you fair warning for my take on it.  So sit back put on some black nail polish and eyeliner as we get a little goth and morbid for this week's Top 5 Fridays.  Maybe putting on a little Cure would help as well, but I usually go for some Leonard Cohen.  Not Goth but it'll get you in the mood.  Man I don't feel well.

#5.  Death Of Composite Superman

Only if Tommy Wiseau dealt with his problems this way in The Room.  Now I don't know how many of you are familiar with Composite Superman, but this version of the character was created by Professor Ivo, as a prototype to Amazo.  But as you can see it had some serious identity issues.  Wanting to be both Superman and Batman, and hell even their secret identities.  This Composite Superman kidnaps both Tim Drake and Lois Lane,  you know for role playing reasons.  Yeah that sounds dirty, but I was originally going to say to play house.  Good thing I didn't go there.  But when our World's Finest pair create false emergencies for both Batman and Superman, the duel identity creature can't decide which one to go to and simply makes the decision that makes the most sense.... Yeah?  You think Batman and Superman took a half for each of themselves and we'll see a part of Composite Superman in both the Fortress of Solitude and the Batcave as trophies?  Well after asking that question I convinced myself that we will, and that Batman and Superman are sick weirdos.  Moving on.

#4.  Death Of Killer Frost

I'm hoping that everyone reading this is at least kind of familiar with the New 52 since it's the majority of what we do around here.  But for those of you who aren't up to date on the re-imagined DCU of the past two and a half years, I'm going to drop a bit of a knowledge bomb on you.  Oh and I'm going to piss off everyone else who knows what I'm talking about already.  Our current Killer Frost is Caitlin Snow, who was turned into the ice queen by her asshole research partners who locked her in with the super science machine she was working on.  They were paid by H.I.V.E. to keep the machine from ever working, and Caitlin returned their professionalism by heat sucking the life out of them.  Okay that should do us for a back story, and we find out that Killer Frost's main objective is to cure herself of this affliction by sucking on Firestorm.  Yeah sucking on Firestorm, what of it?  Only problem with that is she really needs to read some older comics, look what happened to the first Killer Frost when she finally got some of the Ole Firestorm inside of her.  Yeah she died.  So apparently Firestorm is too much to handle, and if our current Killer Frost gets her wish I'd expect to see the same thing.  Oh yeah and bring back the Firestorm series DC, I need me some Nuclear Man.

#3.  The Death Of Terra

Take your pick people because Terra's death, and her clone's death are both pretty bad.  So for this pick I'm giving you a twofer.  I personally like the first one better where Terra is killed by her own rocks.  But who can't get behind Black Adam punching through someone's chest?  I gotta give this slot to Terra even though I've never understood people's love for the character.  Somehow she was a traitor, she died, came back, died again, and then was loved in the Teen Titans cartoon, and here I am just wondering why?  Yeah she's cooler than Geoforce, but that's not hard to do.  Hell G'Nort's cooler than Geoforce, but I think I'm getting off topic.  Terra's original death was a lot like the original Carrie's, you know the classic novel turned film, and it's just ironic that in her "I'll kill everyone with rocks" kind of crazy that she's the only one she takes out in the end.  Oh and in World War III her clone gets fisted by Black Adam.  Both relevant picks for this list, and maybe someday someone will tell me why she's loved soooo much.

#2.  Death Of Ch'p

Yeah folks the cutesy squirrel Green Lantern Ch'p was killed by a yellow truck.  No I'm not shitting you a yellow truck.  The strange thing is that Ch'p was killed during Green Lantern: Mosaic which when push comes to shove most Green Lantern fans, now I'm talking about casual fans not the normal nut job fanboys that I enjoy talking to, but normal Green Lantern fans don't even remember this series.  Isn't that strange?  People will remember and love Ch'p but have no memory about when he died.  I guess most people just assume it was during Hal Jordan's crazed run to Oa to get his Parallax on.  But for all intents and purposes this character has managed to stay with us, and is shown in flashbacks, and whenever John Stewart needs to feel like shit.  That being said.... A big yellow truck.  That's almost as bad as being fridged, and that's too easy so we won't be seeing any woman shoved in refrigerators this week.

#1.  Death Of Blue Beetle

Okay this is #1, and on a shit ton of other Top *insert number here* lists for a good reason.  Beloved Ted Kord is taken down by a bullet to the head.  It's kind of a kick to the balls for super heroes in general where one of them is simply shot in the head and killed.  Now you can't say that Blue Beetle was ever a A list character, but that's what I love about him, he was never the guy that kids dressed up as for Halloween, but for some reason DC has the perfect formula to make these obscure to the normal person characters, and knocking them out of the park.  I love the Justice League members, but I've always been drawn more to the B and C list characters, and that's one thing that Marvel will never have on DC.  Marvel's characters that aren't well known by everyone plain suck.  One more thing about this death that I think about whenever it comes up is that it took one shot.  That leads me back to one of the funniest things in DC history.  Blue Beetle laughing out "One Punch" when Batman knocks out Guy Gardner.  Is it some sort of cosmic karma?

Will Guy be laughing to himself after this "One Shot! Ha ha"?  Probably not, but it's what I think about every time.  With any luck now that Ted's been introduced in the aftermath of Forever Evil, we'll be getting this Silver Age Blue Beetle kicking around the New 52 in no time.

That's all I've got this week folks.  I hope you've enjoyed this list while I'm laying around feeling like shit.  Sorry I'm like a child when I'm sick.....  Well I'm always like a child, but when I'm sick I'm like a death wishing hate machine child.  But if I missed any deaths you think are worthy of this list (remember this is based on my parameters of worst) let us know, and we'll talk about it.  I'll probably grumble about it for a few days, but I promise people I'll be on the mend in a few days, and back to normalish.  Until then see you in seven, and be careful not to allow yourself to be on this Worst Death list in the future.  Boosh!

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