Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Arrow: "We Fall" - Review and **SPOILERS**

Written By: Speed Weed (Really??) and Spiro Skentzos

Directed By: 
Wendey Stanzler

First Aired: January 25, 2018

Last week we addressed the creative malaise that Arrow currently finds itself in. It was a formulaic episode for a formulaic season. Ollie, Digs and Felicity acted like privileged assholes and shit all over Rene, Curtis and Dinah who decided to break out and form their own team. 

The 50 something year old villain with the name early 2000s boy band member ever so slowly continued his convoluted plot to take down Ollie. Thea was back and had fuck all to do so they stuck her on the island of useless characters with Captain Lance. Oh and the federal investigation against Ollie has all but vanished.

You can get the full play by play of last week’s episode here if you are so inclined.

Caught up? Good let’s get into tonight’s seeming 8 hour episode of CW’s The Arrow. 

Explain It:

Something kooky is afoot with the internet in Star City (quick question, why the Flash’s base Star Labs in Central City and not Star City. That always bothered me, follow up question why do all the towns in the DC universe sound like cities that would have had teams in the old NES game Double Dribble? Step your city naming game up DC!). 

It seems like the horror that Sandy Bullock warned us about in the 90's computer thriller The Net has become reality for the good folks of Star City. Then again it might be Steven King’s 90's masterpiece Maximum Overdrive that is the reality on Star City, seriously who the fuck knows, this whole story line is stupid as fuck and the only way to make it fun is to talk about old shit. Remember The Walkman? Oh man there was a musical device you couldn’t hack.

Ok I’m sorry. Turns out Cayden James has hacked the central city internet and he is killing people with.......computers! It’s the most Russian thing ever.

Back in Ollie’s prison block looking condo, he is playing target practice with his asshole son William using Nerf bow and arrows and shit. Ollie totally let’s William win. Felicity gazes at Ollie amazed at how good of an absentee father he is. It reminds me of that Salt's line from ‘What a Man” where she praises her fellow for spending time with his kids when he isn’t busy doing anything fucking else in the world.

Speaking of Ollie’s shithead son, his kid has the same Flash back pack that the 2nd graders in my daughters school rock. Which seems sweet until you dig in a little bit. William is in like 9th grade and he is still rocking a Flash backpack? Little homey is going to prom alone. Also wasn’t Barry just convicted of first degree murder and sent away for Life? That would be like letting your it child rock an O.J. Simpson backpack. What the fuck Ollie. So much for being the party of law and order.

Ollie gets the call that Cayden’s hack killed a councilman and the chief of police. Ollie couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough. Makes me wonder if he is in cahoots with Cayden and using all his crime as a way to avoid his family. Kind of like when I pretend to poop when I need a moment to myself.

Felicity links with Digs who appears to live in the arrow cave. All he does in his down time is fight with that sparing dummy. Homeboy has anger issues. Digs and Felicity decide to loop in team Rene (I'm calling them Team Rene because he is my favorite cast member, I feel like he was plucked from the wire and forced to work on a much worse show for crimes in a past life - also don’t at me I know he wasn't on the wire. He is just good enough that he could have been). The two teams agree to work together.

Ollie makes captain lance the interim police chief and orders Central City to go offline. I feel like if you asked, the majority of people would rather die via hacker than actually give up the internet and interact with coworkers. I know I would.

Team Rene is doing some reconnaissance when Vigilante runs up on Curtis and confesses that he is undercover and trying to take the James gang down from the inside. Curtis is skeptical but Vigilante hips old boy to some train accident that James has planned and then breaks. Is it just me or is naming a character Vigilante on a show about vigilantes the height of laziness. It would be like watching on of those stupid NBC Chicago themed emergency worker shows that the olds love so much and they named the new cool hot shot EMT "Medic" or some shit.

Back at the mayors office Ollie is barking orders like he is a real politician when he gets an unscheduled visitor. It is Cayden muthafucking James. Ollie does that thing where he yells at the villain, like all this murderous maniac needs to stop his killing ways is a stern talking to from a man who is 15 years his junior. Cayden rightfully laughs it off and let’s Ollie know that he can’t stop won’t stop like his is the Bad Boy entertainment of this criminal game. 

Turns out Cayden thinks Ollie killed his son with some friendly fire and is hell bent on making him pay. It’s weird how all these killers decide the best way to make Ollie pay is to destroy the city. I guess Ollie is all "I love this city" and when nobody is around he rubs his junk on sewer grates to get an erection, but still it’s kind of weird that the people of Star City are always getting murked because of Ollie, the self proclaimed protector of the city’s existence. Cayden tells Ollie he will call off his plans if he wires a cool ten mill to his bank account tonight and every other night until Cayden feels the debt is paid. Did Ollie in turn inform him that “Star City does not negotiate with terrorists” like he is the George W. Bush of Canada? You fucking know he did.

Felicity is busy trying to figure out how Cayden James hacked into the entire internet and more importantly team Arrow’s system. How oh how could this have happened? I mean it couldn’t be a self inflicted wound caused by Felicity’s turn at hacktavism last season could it? I mean she couldn’t have accidentally given him the keys to the city when she thought he was a good guy and was working on his behalf could she? I think you already know the answer to all of these questions. On a plus note,  she found out that Ollie was out of town when Cayden’s boy was killed and she has her hacker homegirl trying to prove it.

Also, Felicity realizes that Will who is in a class trip might be in trouble because of the citywide hack. And indeed he is, they are stuck in tunnel traffic and a fat kid picking on him. There is some police activity in the tunnel followed by an explosion followed by William going into full hero mode and saving everyone, Even the fat bully. Unfortunately a road sign falls and traps William. Luckily digs and Ollie are on the scene and save William. William for his part is a typical teen and glowers at Ollie when he realizes his dad is donning the hood again. What an ungrateful prick.

Team Rene, acting upon the tip the vigilante gave them, stop a major crash on the Star City subway line as Dinah uses her Black Canary skill set to stop a train with a full head of steam. Impressive lungs Dinah. Curtis eventually tells the gang how he got the tip which causes a bit of a rift in this new alliance, but eventually Rene and Curtis mansplain shit to Dinah and she comes aboard.

William is sulking around the Arrow cave and all the grown ups are walking on eggshells to placate his teenage rage. Felicity pulls Ollie aside and tells him to talk to William. Ollie, obviously terrified of dealing with him, is all "he just needs some space".

Just as Rene and Curtis convince Dinah that they should trust Vigilante, homeboy send them a message through one of Curtis’ phantasm balls. Cayden is getting ready to attack one of them internet free zones that Ollie and the city set up. Curtis let’s Felicity know and both teams show up to protect the people of Star City until Ollie starts barking orders and Team Rene is all “we don’t work for you anymore hoss“, but once the heat comes down everyone falls back in line and listens to father.

Felicity decides to have a sit down with William because apparently she is the only adult in the group. She hooks into Ollie’s GoPro and hips William to how dope Ollie is with the knuckle game. William can’t front he is kind of impressed.

Rene gets cornered and is about to get popped when Vigilante comes to the rescue and takes out his would be killers with a quick two to the head.

Eventually the gang turns back the marauders and Ollie is all like “we did it!” And Rene is all “step off”.

The episode ends with all the factions finding a peace within their groups, Dinah and vigilante making up and William giving his dad permission to go out and Arrow it up at night.

Unfortunately Felicity’s friend,who was trying to find info that proved that Ollie did not kill Cayden’s son, strikes out so the episode ends with Ollie paying Cayden that ten mill.  No way that doesn't come back to be the 27th scandal of the young Queen administration.  At this point he is making the Trump admin look like fucking boy scouts.

And for the second episode in a row there is not a single mention of the federal case against Ollie. Shit just vanished.


1 comment:

  1. Bets on how many more seasons before William is killed off due to Carl Grimes Syndrome being taken right here. I give him one more season before the writers realize throwing kids into the mix never works because kids grow up.