Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Flash: Honey, I Shrunk Team Flash - Review and **SPOILERS**

Written By: Judalina Nera and Sam Chalsen

Directed By: Chris Peppe

First Aired: January 30, 2018

Last week was a pretty decent episode once you got past the shitty villain, weak as fuck action, Barry prison stuff and continued wackness that is season 4 Cisco.  It centered mostly on Ralph exploring his new stretchy powers and filling in for Barry while he is on his up north trip. Overall it was a pretty decent episode, we got to see Barry in prison where he belongs, we got to see former WWE/WCW star Bill Goldberg who became Barry's prison ace, and we got a shit ton of Ralph, which is always a plus. 

You can read the full recap of last week’s episode here.

Caught up? Good let’s jump into this week’s episode.

Explain It:

This week with start with Joe putting together a crib for the baby he is having with his lady friend Cecile.  Cecile is about to head out when some camera effects hip us to the fact that something is off about old girl this morning.  Turns out, that overnight, she has picked up the ability to read a muthafuckers mind!!!  If you thought pregnancy was rough when it was just hormones Joe, you are in for a fucking wild ride bruh. 

Meanwhile Barry is playing Texas hold 'em in Iron Heights with his new bestie Goldberg, and some other randos.  Barry is using his super speed to cheat and he is also  pulling off the Enrique Iglesias level tough guy prison beard, dude is just going all in on the 2014 Justin Bieber melt-down look at this point.  At some point in the game it comes out that Goldberg shot an unarmed man.  After the game Barry presses Goldberg about it and Goldberg informs Barry that he didn't kill the man but another bald jacked muthafucker did it.  If you were every wondering what happened to Right Said Fred after their one hit now you know.  

Speaking of the other half of Right Said Fred, he shows up at the grand opening of a some high security research facility that even has the mayor of Central City in attendance and everything.  After she gives a big speech about how this facility could never be breached homeboy shrinks the entire building, pops it in his duffle bag and breaks the fuck out. This dude kind of looks like a kid I went to high school with that we called Fergie, he was kind of a goof, but at our last reunion I learned he became a cop and turned into a hardcore racist, so I am going to call this character Racist Fergie for the rest of the episode.

Barry reaches out to Joe and hips him to the Goldberg sitch and the gang decides that they want to help the former champ out.  

After checking out some security footage we learn that Racist Fergie can also make things grow, in fact, he makes a Chevelle appear out of nowhere after stealing the building and uses it as his getaway car.  After some digging around, the gang learns that Racist Fergie as a rap sheet a mile long and goes by the name Silbert something or another.  There is a lot of foreshadowing that Racist Fergie might even be the man who framed Goldberg. 

Barry is feeling himself in the way that Barry does, and he starts shooting off at the mouth to Goldberg about his people looking into his case.  This sets Goldberg off.  He is pissed, a long time ago he had the hope snuffed out of him and he does not want to taste that bitter disappointment again. 

Joe, CIsco and Ralph pay Racist Fergie a courtesy call. Cisco let's himself in when he spots Racist Fergie's sick toy collection.  Nerds are all the fucking same, just grown ass men who still want to play with action figures, which is probably for the best, because if they weren't playing with children's toys they would probably be strangling highway drifters to get erect.* Ralph notices the sweet replica Chevelle  and then Joe drops the Mercury Lab bomb on him causing Racist Fergie to panic.  Racist Fergie makes a gun grow (not a euphemism), starts shooting at the gang and hightails it out of there. Cisco vibes them to the alley to give chase.  Racist Ferg shrinks Joe's wheels and then nails Cisco and Ralph making them pocket-sized. 

*This is particularly rich coming from a grown man who spends his Tuesday nights complaining about costumed crime fighter shows on a network that programs for shows for tweens. 

When we come back from the commercial break, The gang does its best to mine Ralph and Cisco's current predicament for laughs, mostly in the vain of look at these guys next to oversized props.  Eventually they have to contain the two because they are getting lost, or in Ralph's case stepped on by Iris (I feel like that might have been one of Ralph's kinks).  They decide to park them on the lego set they used to map out the Savitar shit from last season until they can figure out what to do with them.  

Iris comes back with some new info about Racist Fergie's powers, turns out a few months back he stole some dwarf star alloy from Ray Palmer and was on the bus that created the second round of metas.  Harry goes to work to try to figure out how to turn Cisco and Ralph back to regular sized assholes. 

Meanwhile Cecile is being an asshole, reading everyone mind and shit.  It has gotten so bad that Iris suggest they go to couples counseling.  This whole fucking relationship fell apart in like a day. 

Speaking of Cecile, she delivers some news on the  Goldberg front, she has reviewed the case files and there is nothing in there to exonerate him, they are going to need a confession. Barry breaks the news to Goldberg, and tells him to have hope, explaining that his father was wrongly locked up for 17 years for killing Barry's mom and finally freed when his mother's killer confessed.  It can happen. Goldberg agrees and you can see the glimmer of light in his eyes and talks about a village in China that he wants to move to if he ever gets out.  The warden pulls Barry aside and suggests that he be careful because he has seen this happen before and it usually ends up bad for the fellow peddling hope.  He tells Barry that everyone in Iron Heights is a monster. 

Harry created a dwarf star alloy ray gun (no pun intended) and tries to set Cisco and Ralph right but instead causes their cells to explode.  He now has ten hours to fix the problem or Cisco and Ralph are goners.  Harry starts feeling sorry for himself  and Cisco calls him out, together they realize that the only way to save them is a blast of Racist Fergie's ray. Well wouldn't you know it, Racist Fergie is fixing to steal a blimp out of the weather museum (Central City has theeee worst attractions).

In a minute of WTF mathematics, Ralph and Cisco go from having 10 hours left before they self destruct to having only 18 minutes which does not take into account the time it will take them to get from Star Lab to the weather museum.  Somehow they make it.  Racist Fergie starts spazzing the fuck out and tossing helicopters and yellow Hummers at team Flash. Harry suckers Racist Fergie to shoot his ray at him and boom Cisco and Ralph leap the fuck out of his pocket DOLEMITE STYLE!  Racist Fergie is stunned and Iris catches him in his moment of weakness and shoots a collar from a gun that wraps around his neck muting his powers.  I am still trying to figure out how the fuck she shot a collar out of a gun, Star Labs has that crazy tech. Joe arrests Racist Fergie, offers him a deal if he will confess so that Goldberg goes free, but Racist Fergie, who is a miserable human being will have none of that. 

Barry, for once, does the right thing and breaks the news to Goldberg like a man, then steels himself for the Goldberg Spear but Goldberg is cool, he thanks Barry for showing him that it is alright to have hope. That night, Barry waits for the security camera to turn away and then goes full Flash mode and breaks a sleeping Goldberg out of prison and deposits him in the village in China he mentioned earlier in the episode.  Unfortunately for Barry, the warden has more than one camera and he catches Barry breaking Goldberg out and now he knows that Barry is the Flash.  The Warden drugs Barry, and Barry asks why, and the warden reminds Barry that he already warned him that EVERYONE in Iron Heights is a muthafucking monster (OH SHIT MOMENT Y'ALL!).  The warden locks Barry under the jail and then places a call to my favorite Flash big bad Amunet to talk about a price for the Flash.  

Holy shit that was a fucking GREAT ENDING!!!!!!

Why Barry Allen Is An Asshole This Week:

Outside of cheating at cards in the beginning of the episode, dressing like Enrique Iglesias and breaking Goldberg out of the joint and turning him into a fugitive, Barry was ultimately alright this week.  We can give him a pass this week because at least he dropped Goldberg off in the village he wanted to go to in China and I don't believe the US and China have an extradition agreement, smart play by Barry.



  1. weird how Ralph and Cisco being shrunk didn't factor heavily into the show at all...I mean, they were shrunk and hanging out on some Legos, and that was pretty much it

  2. They also got to use the high pitch voice thing and that is a win for everyone.