Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Arrow: The Dark Archer Chapter #6 Review and *SPOILERS*

On the Corner of What the Hell & Who Gives a Shit

Written By: John Barrowman and Carol E. Barrowman
Art By: Daniel Sampere, Juan Albarran, Kyle Ritter
Letters By: Deron Bennett (they've named the Unknown Letterer!)dc
Digital Price: $0.99
Release Date: March 23, 2016

*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*

Wow. This is only the sixth chapter of this digital series? I feel like I’ve been reading it forever. And though I don’t mention it in my reviews, we’re actually in part two of who-the-fuck-knows how many parts to a story titled the Rise of Arthur King. Is this supposed to be an ongoing? The continued adventures of Arthur King aka Malcolm Merlyn as R’as al Ghul in that heady Summer of 2015? I’m not going to lie, this series that held so much promise in chapter one—which now seems like it came out forty years ago—has been slogging along the slow road to Who the Fuck Cares for a few chapters now. I’d like to know more about the enigmatic Malcolm Merlyn, but I’d like to concentrate on the interesting parts, okay? The whole bit where he goes hiking with his friends and has sex on a plateau? Save that for the bar. Maybe this chapter turns it all around, or maybe I’m just saying that to entice you to read my review! You’ll never know…unless you read my review!

Explain It!:

Per ritual, I will begin this review with a caveat: this series is about the character Malcolm Merlyn from the CW television show Arrow, and takes place between seasons three and four of Arrow. If you do not watch Arrow, or are not familiar with what happened in season three, then this comic will only confuse you. This not something you can jump on and give a whirl without some prior knowledge.

Of course, even veteran Arrow experts might be confused and frustrated by how this book has shaped up. Since he stopped being chased by Saracon aka So Obviously Merlyn’s Son and his mom Lourdes, and did get chained to that ancient temple in the Cave of Readers’ Sorrows, waiting for it to fill with water and drown him, this book has just been a real drag. Before he dies, Saracon wants to extract some sort of confession from him—must be in the League of Assassin bylaws or something—and it’s just been this long-winded story about Malcolm’s time with his first black ops crew, the Hidden, tasked with destroying some artifacts, or retrieving some artifacts, or I don’t fucking know or fucking care anymore. The art is okay in this book but it’s just a bore to read. If you’re still reading this, then you are a hardcore John Barrowman fan, and he and his sister should shake your hand, Simultaneously, if they can. Otherwise, one at a time will do.
No one will be allowed to leave the theater during the water drinking scene.
There’s this whole bunch of bullshit where team Merlyn forms a plan of attack, and it’s just page after page after page of people sitting around, bullshitting with each other. It makes me wish I was reading straight text without any pictures! Seriously, is this American Splendor or something? The art is serviceable, but this story is going nowhere slowly and my interest has completely waned. I dreaded reviewing this chapter for the exact reasons that have now come to pass, and I’m wondering if I’ll even bother in the future. I’m sure I’ll talk about it on the podcast regardless.

Bits and Pieces:

Can anyone still reading this series please leave a comment below explaining why? No judgment here, I genuinely want to know why you've kept up with this comic book. I am compelled by the laws of this website, but are you otherwise enslaved? Do you come from a country with a prohibitive internet and this is literally the only thing you can get? I really want to understand what other people see in this book, because all I see is space that could have been better used as an IKEA assembly instructions or a pamphlet about venereal disease.


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