Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Superwoman #7 Review

Did you ever, you know, try to REBOOT it?

Superwoman #7
Written By: Phil Jimenez
Art By: Matt Santorelli and Jack Herbert
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: February 8, 2017

Finally, the conclusion of “Who Killed Superwoman?” is here and 7 issues later, it wasn’t worth it. This title can easily be canceled and I can’t see how DC is still pumping these out. Let’s vote with our wallet and drop this title. Maybe it will finally happen now that this “story” is done. Let’s take a look at the conclusion and see what happened.

Explain It:
Instantly, you can tell that, yet again, the pages are crammed with panels. They still feel the need to shove as much unnecessary bullshit in the pages. What’s worse is that the panel placements are the series’ absolute worst. You will get lost reading the panels because their placements make no sense. You have to guess which panel is next and if the word bubble doesn’t make sense, you probably went to the wrong panel next or it’s just the horrible dialog.

Phil Jimenez cannot write in this book. I’m not familiar with his work but I want to know how he still has a job. The sentences do not flow and they make me question what I read because my comprehension skills are put to the absolute breaking point of just not getting what he’s trying to say. One of the biggest problems of the book are the horrible plot holes. It’s established that Lex can’t walk in his suit because the suit is shut down and won’t allow him to move. Motherfucking Kryptoniteman asks him if he ever tried to reboot it. Lex hasn’t fucking tried to reboot it! How can the genius mastermind not know how to fucking reboot a system for a suit he’s wearing! It makes no goddamn sense, and what do you know! Rebooting it actually fucking works and he can walk around now. Eat my ass.

I’m going to say, this is a terrible title for new readers to jump into. You’ll have to look up so many things and details to even understand some things happening, like Savior showing up and beating Lex and mentions of the Amazo Virus. These are not clearly explained in Rebirth and that’s a big problem when you can’t explain old things to new readers yet every issue of Superwoman, there are recaps of the last issue. Things we JUST read. I get that we live in an age of Google but new readers shouldn’t have to Google things to understand what’s happening.

The conclusions absolutely sucks. All that happens is that Lana defeated Lena and Metropolis is instantly restored. Literally just like that, in a snap or a blink of an eye. This could have all happened in just 4 issues and it would have been the same. This did not need to be dragged out into 7 fucking dreadful issues. Lois Lane’s “ghost” still isn’t fully explained and where the hell are the Justice League!? We still aren’t given a reason to why they weren’t there at all during this. Fuck this issues and fuck this title.

Bit’s and Pieces.
The dialog is awful, the writing is awful, even the story is awful. The story arc finally ends in this issue and it was not worth 7 issues. There’s no real story to tell here. With huge plot holes (Where is the Justice League?!) and horrible panel placements, this title is easily skippable and I hope it gets canceled.



  1. 1/10 for me! Who the hell is Savior and why does he look/act like Superman. Why does Lena have a big ass snake tail. The magic chic restores Metropolis back to normal from what.

  2. I will say the most interesting thing that happened in this issue was Lana disappearing and saying the same thing the nu-52 Lois Lane said before she disappeared; something to the effect of "I understand now...". Of course, we did not need 7 issues to get to that point. DC could admittedly have saved some trees by having Lana disappear the same time nu-52 Lois did back in issue 1. Lol.

  3. It also would have been preferable if we at least got more random appearances of Mr. Oz given the main characters connection to nu-52 Superman.

  4. And to the reviewer Dillyn Chadwick, you win a no-prize for using the phrase "Eat my ass" in a comic book review of a Superman related title. I often get angry at comic books but rarely choose analingus as a metaphor for bad writing. You're inspiring. Kudos my brother.