Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The New 52: Futures End #14 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Brian Azzarello, Jeff Lemire, Dan Jurgens, Keith Giffen
Art By: Aaron Lopresti
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: August 6, 2014

No Seriously, Something Bad Needs To Happen To Fifty Sue!

Last issue, I prayed and prayed to a deity I don't believe in for something terrible to happen to Fifty Sue, but like most things in life I was disappointed.  The recap for this week to keep you in the know goes like this, Fifty Sue and Grifter try to track down the stealth OMAC that attacked him by climbing down a air duct to a sub basement level of Cadmus Island.  Red Robin get's robbed at his bar by a very haggard looking Captain Cold and he later tracks him down and kicks the shit out of him to get his girlfriend's necklace back, while Batman Beyond was double crossed by his villain associates that want him off the team since Mister Terrific plastered his face on every television station.  In the end Big Barda and Emiko are tricked into walking down a dark alley by Fifty Sue who apparently can be at two places at once and the two heroes are confronted by Deathstroke.  Let's get this Five Years From Now party started.

Explain It!:

We begin our story with a funny fight between Big Barda and Emiko vs. Fifty Sue and Deathstroke.  Green Arrow's little sister Emiko is able to stop Deathstroke when she shoves a arrow in his neck.  That's right that little badass girl is able to take down the Terminator himself.  Old strokey of the death variety must be slipping in his old age.  Barda tries to take on Fifty Sue, but the little brat seems to be too much for her and you know what happens?  Emiko takes out Fifty Sue with an exploding arrow!  I love this little girl!  The two heroes get away and I think my prayers have been answered thinking that Fifty Sue has been burned up by an exploding arrow, but you guys have to remember that I'm a notorious idiot.

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Back in New York Terry's Batsuit is trying to get him to come to after he was knocked out by an exploding paper airplane, courtesy of Plastique and Key and Coil argue over who's going to kill him.  So much for honor among thieves.  Since Coil is a bigger badass, he wins the chance to kill Batman Beyond by using our hero's magnetic field to untie his nervous system.  Even though Plastique is the one who put Terry in this predicament in the first place, it seems she's not ready to let the future Batman die just yet and uses her kinetic charge power on the walls and becomes Samuel L Jackson from Pulp Fiction and tells those bitches to chill

On Cadmus Island, Grifter falls through the air duct alerting two scientists to his presence, but more importantly he alerts some OMACs.  Remember how I told you earlier that I was an idiot for hoping Fifty Sue was taken out by Emiko?  Well it hits home here when Fifty Sue tells us that she's back to one place at a time and even though I'm pissed that she's fine, it's kind of a good thing since she saves Grifter's Nordberg ass from the OMACs.  How can Grifter be this clumsy?  So Fifty Sue stops the OMACs, blows up a scientist's head for fun and we find out from the remaining scientist that stealth OMACs might not be that crazy of an idea.

In the end Lois Lane is sitting with her mystery items, when she somehow activates that green pyramid thing that gives her a vision of the Earth 2 heroes and her doppelganger Red Tornado strapped to a table.  But it seems that even with this vision, she has no direction to take this information because she has no idea what just happened to her.  Also I'm calling shenanigans on the solicit for this week's issue.  Here I was getting all excited since the solicit told me that the Earth 2 prisoners on Cadmus Island were going to break out and then here I am all upset because that shit didn't happen!  Now we all know that you can't always trust what a solicit tells you, but damn did I want to see that this issue.  Back to the idiot thing.  Make sure you're here next week as I continue my streak of idiocy and hopefully we'll see a real prison break.

Bits and Pieces:

Another week with an unimpressive issue that doesn't do much to further the story.  The only thing I can really say that's positive about the issue is Aaron Lopresti's art is great and that's about it.  The first segment to this issue I did get a chuckle from a fight, but if you're a Deathstroke fanboy you might find it ridiculous and call shenanigans.  All in all not much going on here.


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