Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The New 52: Futures End #37 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Brian Azzarello, Jeff Lemire, Dan Jurgens, Keith Giffen
Art By: Aaron Lopresti, Art Thibert, Dan Green, Wayne Faucher, Hi-Fi
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: January 14, 2015

Murdering Fifty Sue

Welcome back to the future!  Okay, enough of that.  For this week's quick recap the things that you'll need to know going into this book are that Frankenstein is on the verge of death now that he's a mortal thanks to his Nth Metal arm and Amethyst tries to save his life by taking him to the Justice League Dark but after they tell her they can't help Frank, Constantine comes in to poke fun. It seems that Amethyst has had enough of Constantine and runs her sword through him.  In Las Vegas King Faraday and his group were trying to figure out how to get a DNA vault that fell in the ocean at Cadmus Island back and Fifty Sue simply willed it to be there to be helpful and not helpful.......They were on top of a very tall building and this vault is as big as a house.  Up at the Justice League's headquarters Firestorm showed up looking for help with her "I can't stop being Firestorm" problem after her big fight with the new Dr. Polaris and finally Terry McGinnis lost his virginity to Plastique while the two waited for Tim Drake to come back home.  I understand that losing your virginity is a important thing but maybe they could have waited to get naked until after the giant Batman/Joker monster from the future wasn't trying to kill them...........Maybe that's just me.  Let's see what this week's foray into the future holds for us.  

Explain It!:

Our issue begins with Constantine being run through with Amethyst's sword and like I said he would do last week, he magic-ed his way out of it.  It seems that Constantine is only there as a astral projection due to the amount of women present that he's screwed over in the past and then we find out why Amethyst hates him so much.  It seems when the Earth 2 war was going down, a bunch of Parademons made it to the magical Gemworld..............That right there is a story I would like to see.  How the hell did a bunch of New God monsters make it to the magical Gemworld?  So anyway, the JLD came to fight at Amethyst's side and Constantine's grand plan to end the battle was to sacrifice all of Gemworld to keep the Parademons trapped in that dimension.............Yeah, I can see why she'd be pissed.  His excuse is that he didn't want the forces of Apokolips gaining that kind of magical power to bring back there but again, I don't know what these Parademons know about magic so really you could go either way here about if Constantine was in the wrong.  Personally I don't really care for Gemworld or it's inhabitants so it's no great loss to me.  After the flashback Constantine leaves Frankenstein and Amethyst with one little clue.  He tells them that they need to go back to where Frankenstein was born..............Dun dun dun!  Castle Frankenstein!  Yeah, it's no great shocker.

Up at the Justice League Defense Station Omega, Jason Rusch is instructing Madison Payne on how to recreate Dr. Yamazake's experiment that fused them together and while they toil, Dr. Polaris is down in Metropolis calling Firestorm out.  Don't worry though, they can continue the experiment because Stormguard and Superman (Shazam) are picking up her slack and taking on the magnetic maniac.  After all the wires are in place Firestorm enters the chamber but for whatever reason the experiment doesn't work and Firestorm is shot out of the machine and to me, she looks kind of hurt.  I wonder if they've tried yelling "Flame off" yet.

Over in Las Vegas, we see that the giant vault that Fifty Sue conjured up is way too heavy to be sitting on top of a building and it goes crashing down through the side and most likely killed a whole bunch of people.  It's at this point where we find out that apparently the hit on Fifty Sue is still on because when she wasn't looking Mercy went and touched her...............That's Mercy's thing.........She touches people and they die.............I guess.  At first it looks like it didn't work but then Fifty Sue gets a little wobbly and falls over and we have a big dramatic scene between the people that knew about the hit and the people like Lana and Cole who didn't.  It's okay though because out of nowhere Fifty Sue, Lana and Cole all disappear with the vault and now it looks like our little family unit is on the run with a whole vault full of DNA...........Maybe Cole and Lana can make themselves another little monster...........That's how babies are made right?.......... with giant vaults of DNA?

In the end, we head back over to New York where Tim Drake has finally made his way back to his home: The Wounded Duck, where he finds the place in shambles.  He's lost his girlfriend, Ronnie Raymond and now this.......Tim's had enough.  It's a good thing too because when he starts shouting at the world for everything that he's had to endure over the past couple weeks, it gets the attention of Batman Beyond, who was laying naked with Plastique and feeling those oh so good feelings of....... "I NEED MORE!"  So Batman Beyond flies down and apologizes to Tim for destroying his place but before we can have the awesome team-up of Batman Beyond and Red Robin, Tim feels the need to punch Terry in the face......... I really hope that they don't really start fighting because down the street the Batman/Joker monster has got them back in it's sights.

That's it for this week's Futures End and we're still dealing with the same problems as before where we're just waiting for something to happen.  Seriously, Is Firestorm going to be able to separate?  "No", is Frankenstein going to get healed? "No",  Are Tim and Terry going to team-up? "No".........It's just a lot of no's and I'm looking for a great big "Yes".  It's really frustrating when you realize that your sitting back and yelling at a comic book to hurry up and do something.  I'd like to say that the art this week was great from Aaron Lopresti but that too wasn't as good as it's been and I find that a shame because I usually really like his work.  Just not a lot going on here, even though there's so much that could be happening.  Hopefully when we travel back to the future next week, we can come back home with tales to tell everyone about what we saw.............. you know, since there wasn't much to talk about here...............Oh you get it.

Bits and Pieces:

It's issues like this that make it hard to keep reading this series because it seems that each week we're given a whole bunch of nothing.  I mean for setup it's great but it's been going on for weeks and I need something to sink my teeth into with this series.  It's been too long since it's really been the series that I know it can be.  Man, that really makes me sound pretentious.  I just want more from this series and this issue certainly isn't giving it.  



  1. Yeah that is mercy's thing...was on her file when she first appeared. its why she wears the gloves(which think about she only had off twice throughout this series)
    but i don't think fity sue is'll take more than a hand on the shoulder to take that little psychopath out

    1. Yeah, I remember it's just that Mercy is such a forgettable character here that I don't pay her much mind........... So are Banger and Mash while I'm at it. I liked Mercy a whole lot more when I didn't know any better and thought she could have been a future Stargirl.

    2. I swear if this is how they kill fity sue, imma make sure dc's new office looks like earth 2 right now...not really, BUT I'D BE PISSED

    3. Nah, she was only feigning death. Now she knows exactly who was behind what.